There are days when self-confidence is nowhere to be found. Let’s be real, there are days when all I want to do is stare at the wall or share cat videos on my social media.
There is a certain burden of being connected all the time. I keep thinking of how much happiness and efficiency people can have in just one day. I was talking to a friend yesterday about the social paradox. People are always the happiest, their babies are the cutest and the moms are always sharing something about it, we didn’t ask for. Successful people are a whole different category. They are always shining and their life path is incredible. Can you be that happy all the time, or do you literally want me to feel like I’m not achieving anything? Aww… I’m sorry! Are you trying something new? Look how I’m successful with my first choice of career, I’m doing awesome and I’m not even 30 years old yet! Argh. It’s about time for people to start getting real.
I work in a high class five-star hotel in downtown Chicago. Like where everyone uses a radio to communicate, they wear suits and have their life together. Believe me, they don’t. Hospitality Management was my first career choice when I was 19. At that time, all I wanted to do was travel with my camera, write about it, and boy, I got that wrong. Over the years, I’ve always worked in the hospitality field and usually I get bored, because let me be real, it is boring. There is nothing fresh, ever, your creativity is busted, there is a box on the way in, that says “creativity” and you usually have to drop it there and get it on the way out. Like your keys. You are always trying to accommodate people’s needs. Sometimes you have to take a banana, at 3AM, to the room, because the guest’s kids forgot to do an experiment for the school and he needs it. They need it right now. How could you not bring the banana up here in 15 minutes?? Yeah, that kind of demanding situation. If you are a creative person like me, you cut the banana in pieces and make it into a little heart, write “good luck” on the plate, just to have the guest call back and ask for another banana, because you anticipated the guests needs wrong.
I have to make ends meet until I’m done with Creative Writing School, in September. I’m still not sure of what path I will take after it, I didn’t even call my career advisor yet, because I won’t have the answers she needs to help me out. Last month, I had Writing for Comics Workshop and it was a terrible month. My assignments were piling up, in a crunched timeline. We had to learn Adobe Illustrate in two days in order to make the assigned comic page. Who learns an entirely new piece of software in two days? Yeah sure, if you have nothing else to do in your life, but I work at the Demanding Hotel, my hours are crazy. That’s probably the reason why when I have days off, I stare at the wall. Before this class, I was really into writing for comics, the teacher hit me with a cold bucket of water in my face and I have to find something else to do. Apparently, you have to get connections, you have to be so good, and you have to shine in order to get a job in the field. I’m running out of options here. Help!