Why does everyone looks so cool and savvy online when I’m 36, feeling inadequate like I’m constantly having an out-of-body experience. My soul flying, like a kite, shaking and moving without steadiness. Feels like I’m not going anywhere, I’m just there wiggling on the wind.
Where does this feeling of inadequacy come from?
I guarantee I’m not the only one and it is not because I’m an immigrant either. I have friends from all over the place that feels the same way. We all feel like a hamster in the wheel, running to get nowhere, making money for someone else. Putting all of our passions aside because we first have to make a living, and we can’t afford to drop everything to invest in whatever we want to do.
For most of us, what we really like to do, we tend to keep a hobby. Either because we don’t think we are going to make any money with it, or in my case, I feel like I would destroy the only thing that makes me truly happy. I’ve been passionate about photography for over 17 years now. I never had the courage to make it into a career.
I’m too scared to be criticized for something I’m so devoted to. It’s like my writing.
I love writing, but instead of trying to pursue something with it, I’m still keeping it to myself because I’m too scared about what others are going to think of my stories, or if my character’s arc is according to the industry standards among other things. So I stay in my comfort zone. Writing on this blog.
What is your comfort zone?
Mine is working in hotels and restaurants. I’ve been doing it for so long, that it’s just a matter of days to be familiar with the new place and then I’m bored again. I feel compelled to try something else, but I always end up in the same spot over and over.
I know that kind of job will give me the most secure of all because it’s something I dominate and like a robot, you just program it and let it do its stuff. The security comes from not needing to learn anything new, and with that avoid criticism of being a newbie.
It shouldn’t be like that, but we are all humans and we tend to not want to make drastic changes unless we need to.
Taking risks is not for everyone.
The biggest risk I’ve ever taken in my life was moving to America to take English classes and not coming back to my home country. I had it all planned, but the way it unfolded still shocks me to my core. Actually moving to America was not too risky, what was really risky was moving to Georgia.Without having proper documentation.
I guess that’s why I’m in my comfort zone now, because all the happened over there, made me not want to take any other risk in my life. Like zero new adventures.
Living those 4 years in Georgia, made me create a cocoon. The reverse butterfly effect, where the butterfly grows out of the cocoon, I got back in. Have you ever had such a traumatic experience that shake your entire core and made you the most skeptical person to the day?
Mine was a series of things happening, in my restaurant career and my personal life, that made me see the worst in people, for way too long.
My comfort zone makes me look like I’m not doing enough to be wherever I aim to be.
It always feels like I’m not working enough, networking enough, sharing enough. I keep questioning myself on how can I do it better, or what would I have to do to not be so passive with my life anymore.
Can I have an exciting life, where I can showcase my travels, my achievements, my new career development? The comfort zone is keeping me where I need it to be, for right now.
I want to take a step further, but also, life is not a competition.
I’m not here to compete with anybody. Even though it seems like that’s all we are doing at this time and date.
I guarantee you that you also have something you’d like to showcase, as something that you are really proud of, that something is holding you back. That’s where it lays your comfort zone, my friend.
A place where you know all your coworkers, all your friends are the same friends you have always seen, the same places you go to. There is nothing new to try. You are to accommodate to take a step further. The unknown is scary and who you might find there too.
This blog is an example of me stepping out of my comfort zone of working in hotels and restaurants. I come over here, every other week, to write a post about something that I’m feeling, and would like to share my experience about navigating life as an immigrant.
I don’t care if I have a lot of views or even if my blog hit the stats that I hope for. I write because it’s something that I feel like I need to do, in order to feel accomplished.
It’s my personal share of success.
That’s the only thing that makes me navigate life without feeling like a robot owned by a corporation, who pays me a little bit over a minimum wage and drowns my hopes and dreams. I need my comfort zone to be where I enjoy also to be.
What works for me is been taking small steps and making reasonable lists that I can accomplish. Out of my comfort zone. I’m also working on the depths of why I’m stuck in this position and how can I venture outside.
Does the comfort zone also have some to deal with anxiety?
I read an Instagram post about it the other day and it made me reflect on why my comfort zone is attached to my anxiety and ability to get my projects to move forward? If any psychologists are reading this, let me know if I’m thinking correctly.
Please let me know in the comments what is your comfort zone and what’s keeping you there? Are you afraid of trying, fearing something might derail you from what you are used to, or the unexpected reaction of complete strangers online?
Stay healthy, stay well.