What I learned about Blogging in 10 months

We read a lot about how to start a blog, the correct niche, what works, and what doesn’t. What nobody tells you is that the road can be bumpy and it’s not that easy to write and make 10K a month working from home. Otherwise, everyone would be doing it. 

I’m not making money yet, what I’m sharing are a few steps to make it easier, and what I would like to know before I even started it.  

Here are some tips on what worked for me so far.

Choosing the right plan and platform. 

First and far most, choosing the website to host your blog will be a huge deal. I worked with most of it since I have been blogging with different platforms for 14 years. When I started, I used Blogger, which has a simple interface, and it’s easy if you want to test out your content and your niche.

I turned to Wix to host my Portfolio for Creative Writing school and it was chaotic, I couldn’t work with the columns. 

So when I decided to have my website and blog, I got WordPress basic, and once I started seeing a growth in my audience I upgraded to a Business account, that allowed me to choose in a variety of themes, Yost SEO among other important plugins

The niche is the most important aspect. 

When I first started, I had plans to write about my experience as an ESL writer in the USA, who has just graduated with a Creative Writing Degree. It worked while I was at school, but I didn’t have much to say after. I didn’t get any jobs in my field and decided to go full-time blogging. In the meantime, I learned about the audience I wanted to focus on and saw good potential if I stick to the subject. 

In the meantime, I realized that people like reading about: Food, Travel, Functional tips, like moving, adapting, creating, and Trash reality tv shows we all watch. 

Do your research about what you would like to talk about, your audience and what can you write about the subject. If you like Beauty and Fashion, make sure to be on point with what you writing, don’t derail. I do that a lot, as while I write about immigration and how life is here for an outsider, I also talk about the tv shows I enjoy watching.

In the past couple of months, I learned how to focus. My blog is a lifestyle blog and I write about my life here in America as an immigrant, the food I eat, and the places I visit. 

Social media is your friend (some more than others) 

As I’m still learning how to use Pinterest, I’m focusing on learning as the fantastic tool everyone its been telling me it is. Scheduling Pins has been a blessing and Canva is an amazing tool. What its been keeping my audience steady is some Twitter accounts like @usblogsretweet and @allthoseblogs where they do daily sharing threads with blog following and comments. Twitter has been my major traffic tool.

Schedule your pins to save you time. 

 Recently in my extensive research about how to improve the traffic on the blog, I learned about Tailwind. I’m still using the free version, but you can subscribe and schedule up to 400 pins a month. Marketing is what takes most of my time, as I do everything myself. Researching, writing, editing, posting, sharing, making pins, publishing it, tweeting, retweeting, engaging. It’s a full-time job. And only my ego gets paid.  

Participate in blogging groups and engage in social media. 

Being part of blogging groups will help you to stay motivated and learn more about what works or not. You will find out the necessary tools to improve traffic and realize it’s hard for most of us, beginners. I’m a part of a few Facebook Groups like Blogging for beginners and Creative Bloggers, where I receive daily updates on other people’s progress and some people asking the same question I had for the longest time and getting a few different answers.  

Keep a posting schedule. 

When I first started, I was posting once a month. And not sharing with anyone. I had no confidence about what I was writing and didn’t know that it is indeed a business. It’s not a hobby and if you want to succeed, but you will also have to put some time and dedication into it.

Unless you started with a whole team, that you can delegate tasks, so it doesn’t get hard on anyone. You will have to have a schedule and work it like a company to see results like a company. 

Post your own pictures, if possible. 

I’m trying to take photos related to what I’m posting, it’s better for the SEO. Most times, I use free stock image websites like PixalBay and Unsplash. Be careful of copyrights. 

Photo retrieved from Unsplashed

Create a Seo strategy and google analytics.

When you apply for the Business Plan at WordPress, the website offers you the plugin Yoast SEO, to help you to improve your chances to improve your traffic. Google Analytics will help you with extensive information about where your traffic is coming from. 

Don’t believe the hype. It’s hard and it cost money to make the wheel go round.

I have seen plenty of pins on Pinterest on how to grow your income to 10K a month blogging from home. I’m not even close to selling anything on my website, as I’m still applying to affiliated links this week, and the blog its been running for 10 months. I would not know how long it will take for me to make some income. 

Successful people tend to let you know they made it, they just don’t want to tell you the struggle it is. There is no point in being honest. And believe me, their advice is never free. All this free information comes with a course on how to make that money. I understand that it’s a business, but don’t trick me with a Pin that says one thing, and when I got the page, it’s all about your sales. 

What they also don’t tell you, is that you have to invest money in all these tools that they tell you to use. 

Believe in yourself as a random influencer believes in herself. 

I’m too awkward to even try to influence anyone.

First of all, believe in yourself and your content. There is nothing worse than finding a boring blog that says everything the same way the other ten thousand are saying. Be creative, be bold, be loud. I follow some blogs for a few years now, and they all have one thing in common, they are original and have original content. 

One of those is from Molly Yeh https://mynameisyeh.com/ She lives on a farm, cooks, and writes about her simple life, I follow her journey since 2015 and she inspired me a whole lot. Molly got her cook show called Girl Meets Farm, on FoodNetwork and that’s only one example of how far a successful blog can take you if you are true to yourself. 

About two months ago, I worked on a dinner event bachelorette party, with Chef Demeatrie, and the guest was just a super normal girl, who asked to take photos of the table we had just set up. “I’m an influencer”, she said and my mind immediately led me to “Great for you, for believing in yourself” 

I’m not an expert. I keep learning as I go.

My blog is still growing and I’m constantly improving. The steps above are what works to improve my traffic and get noticed. This week I will work on Affiliate marketing and Legal pages to add to my blog. I will let you know how it goes, as I promise I won’t sell classes next week!  

Be Safe! Stay healty!

J.G Snelly

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The Reign of Cobra Kai

About two weeks ago, I was looking for something to watch and the suggestion list was insisting on Cobra Kai. I skipped a couple of times, to watch something I had already watch a thousand times before, like Gilmore Girls, or Jane the Virgin. I wish I hadn’t skipped. My husband came home and we decided to give it a chance to the show, just for a few minutes and we were hooked. I got soaked in at the first five minutes and couldn’t stop watching. I watched both seasons in a week.

The show was initially produced for Youtube Red, by Sony Entertainment, in 2018. How haven’t we all heard of it, is still a mystery, I don’t know anyone who watches shows on the streaming.I’m glad for once that Netflix decided to buy the two seasons and don’t hog it or give us 7 episodes every six months, as they do with shows like Mr. Iglesias. It all there for our entertainment.in the most millennial way, I want it now, and I want it all.

Karate Kid – 1984

I don’t remember watching the Karate Kid franchise, but I’m familiar with Mr. Miyagi, banzai, and the nickname Daniel-San. The fighting dragon or bird pose is also part of pop culture, you don’t need to watch the movies to know about the rivalry between Daniel LaRusso and Johny Lawrence. You know LaRusso won the fight with the illegal kick, as it is stated multiple times 34 years later during Cobra Kai.

The show is based on what happened to each of the character’s life, after the Karate Kid movies. Daniel LaRusso, as expected, succeeded, is married, owns a car dealership, has a nice house, a wife, and kids. A typical cookie-cutter middle-class American life. Johnny Lawrence is a dead beat, borderline alcoholic, and an absent father to his mischievous kid, Robby, who by the way, hates him. After seeing a kid being bullied outside of a store, Johny goes out in his defense, fighting the kids using his lifetime karate experience. It’s a great scene and it keeps your attention during the entire fight. After all, Johnny fights against five guys alone. The next day, is on the newspaper, guess who sees it? Daniel LaRusso and that bring some meaningful memories. After the fight, Miguel, the kid who was being bullied, asked to be trained by Johny and that sparks on him the desire to open his karate dojo, that of course, he would name it Cobra Kai, based on the dojo he used to train, with his karate Trainer, Kreese.

What makes it Cobra Kai so cool, of course, the bickering between the two main characters. They are full-grown men, yet they can’t let go of the fact that LaRusso stole Johny’s girlfriend in high school and he only lost the fight because of that illegal kick. They still hate each other. LaRusso is calm and collected, but extremely hurtful and vengeful, while Johnny is a nutcase, learning how to teach karate with a purpose of fighting to compete and win, without almost killing the opponent. That gets in the way when we see his old Sensei Kreese make his way back into the dojo. Kreese is an extremely violent war veteran, who doesn’t want to teach mercy. He was apparently dead, but Kreese is alive and well. He wants the students to win, no matter what. So he instigates Johnny to fight dirty.

34 years of rivalry.

Apart from familiar characters, we have an array of new people that add to the fun. LaRusso’s Daughter, Sam is the typical girl next door, who gets infatuated by Miguel, knowing that he is being trained by her family arch-nemesis, now Sensei Lawrence. She encourages her dad to open his own Miyagi Dojo, based on her dad’s Sensei, so she can train karate, like when she was a kid. Almost like a Romeu and Juliett, but with some extra people on it, like Robby, who gets a job at Daniels’ car dealership to get make his dad mad, and end up finding in Larusso, the dad he never had. So he gets under his wings to learn some karate moves. One of the best scenes is the karate tournament, where Robby is coached by LaRusso, against Miguel, who is with Cobra Kai, aka Johny Lawrence, Robby’s dad. Johnny wants to win, but also don’t want Miguel to hurt his son. His conflicting mind is what drives the series. Its about between do what is right, or win against the person you had a beef with your entire life. You don’t know which side to cheer to. It balances it out during the entire two seasons.

Other cool things to add are the lack of technology expertise on Johny’s part. He is awkward and with no social skills, he also makes you uncomfortable to watch him navigate his endeavors. The fact he struggles with a computer system and phones is hilarious. Daniel Larusso is happily married, while Johnny is on the newly founded internet, looking for “hot babes”. It feels like he got stranded in the ’80s, especially when a female student, looks for him to learn karate and he says girls can’t do karate, because they are “soft”. When he gives Aisha a chance to prove herself, she beats the crap out of the other student. Entertainment at its best. After a huge fight breaks out on the first day of school, the second season ends with a major cliff hanger. Netflix announced that season 3 is coming in 2021, as its already filmed. My only problem is, Netflix itself.

Like I said many times before, Netflix is about the money. Not much what the audience thinks it’s cool, or popular. I had many shows I liked, canceled because the executives said there was not enough audience to keep it on the platform. Once again, because they didn’t want to promote the way it should be. Netflix is my Daniel LaRusso. I despise it, but can’t stop talking about and let go.

We don’t know much about season 3 of Cobra Kai yet. All we know is that according to the show creator Jon Hurwitz the series “is already filmed, edited and ready to go”, as he said on Twitter. Let’s hope its the beginning of 2021, but its Netflix, so I’m getting ready for the staggering of waiting months and months.

If Netflix don’t stagger, we will have season 3 soon.

Cobra Kai has a little bit of everything for everyone. Karate, family values, comedy and loss. Flashback who lets whoever never watched the movies go along with the story the show is telling now. If you watched, let me know in the comments what did you like the most! I can’t wait for season 3!

Enjoy your holiday weekend ! Stay healthy !

J.G.Snelly

What you see is what you get

Not really.

I’m an immigrant, but you probably realized that by now. Every time I say I’m from Brazil, a cloud of stereotypes rain down on me. My country is mainly known for soccer, Carnaval and the Amazon jungle. You assume you know my culture by the only three things that most of us don’t care about, or don’t associate with. The only time I had ever put my foot in a stadium was for a concert, for sure I love Carnaval, but I never travelled to the Amazon, because its expensive, even for us. My question is, do you know who Xuxa, Gretchen or Nazare are? You probably do, from memes around the internet, but you don’t know where they come from. The same type of perception towards other cultures also happen to us, Brazilians.

For instance, if you say Amsterdam, we say weed. If you say Russia, we say vodka. If you say USA, we have a few different ideas. First of all, Disney. Second, New York City (Sex and the City, Friends, Seinfeld, Gossip Girl). Third, burgers and hot dogs. Based on this idea that we create in our minds, or of how America is sold to us, foreigners, is what we expect when we move over here. I have been thinking about this topic for far too long that I made a list of what we see in the movies and tv, that makes no sense or its completely different once you move everything you own to this country.

  Prom

The very first Item of my list is something which always had me intrigued. We don’t have a prom in my country, we are actually lucky if we have a graduation party. In my school, we didn’t even have enough teachers.  My geography teacher got sick on my second year of high school, we never got a replacement, or heard from the teacher ever again. I passed that subject with flying colors. I was jealous of my other friends who were going to private school and got all the rites of passage, I heard that they actually had a graduation party.

The only idea I had of prom is from tv and movies. The first scene on my mind is Laney, from “She is all that” when she finds out it was all a lie “Am I bet? Am I a F*ckin bet?” or “Never Been Kissed” when Josie got egged in front of her house, while waiting to be picked up for prom. Even though it was all real mean, it also looks cool and branded. Almost like you belong in the group. I’m actually glad I didn’t have that in my school, it would have only added to my stress.   By the way, I still don’t understand the corsage.

This scene was the very idea I have ever had of what prom was.

 Small Towns that have an Efficient Transit System.

I blame Gilmore Girls for that one. Rory was always at the Square town, waiting for the bus to go to school, from Stars Hallow to Hartford. In my mind, everywhere here in America had an efficient public transportation system. No. Everyone in America has a car, from a very early age. Especially if you live in the countryside, rural areas. When I turned 16, I got a recharge of my bus pass, not a car. Every time I go to a small town I look to see if there is a bus or a train, when it does, it doesn’t go anywhere; or it has a bunch of psychotic people with loose knives riding on it, like Austin.  

Wrong. They should show her mom dropping her off and she getting a car right on her 16 birthday.

  The medicine Ads on tv.

If you ever watch tv in the mornings, during those morning show commercial breaks, you will see at least 20 different types of medication. I’ve seen commercial for dry eyes, for skin disease, for short legs and earlobe enlargement.  Its outrageous, the capacity of selling stuff for people that don’t actually need. It got me questioning if I have a droopy eyebrow and if there is a medicine for that. Another impressive thing is, how happy the actors are in those ads, even though the side effects look pretty horrible. Some like suicidal thoughts, diarrhea, dizziness, sleep walking and imaginary friends. All that because of dry eyes? I pass.

  Mean Girls and the Captain of the football team Trope.

Do you guys have this in every single school and that’s why it’s portrayed like a trope in all teenage movies? I remember in my school some kids were really mean to me and others, but they didn’t have a trope, they didn’t have to play sports either. We didn’t have the hunk boy or the prettiest girl everyone wants to be friends with, date and take to prom. No one had money to be pretty, it was a public school in Brazil for god’s sake. My trope was the one on from the back, laughing and being silly with my friends, until I was the one who got held back to retake the sophomore year, while my friends moved on. I made new friends anyway. In my country, we love soccer, but we don’t have this competition at school, we don’t care about who succeeds, we like to talk about the ones that didn’t.

  The Go getter mentality

We tend to believe that all you have to do to succeed in America is work hard, with no boundaries, while pushing people out of the way, like Andy, from Devil wears Prada. Then once again, we move here, gasoline running in the veins, full of energy, ready to take off, and we start to get passed by people because of innumerous reasons. Once again, whoever sold us the American dream was wrong. Like the people who used to sell you computers virus protection online, who didn’t protect anything. In some tv shows, there is always someone struggling, try to make ends meet and working 3 jobs to support the family, like the dad, played by Terrel Crews in “Everybody hates Chris”. There are characters that Hussle, work like a mad house, to the point he succeeds and get the white fenced house, or the Penthouse with the Central Park view. They just don’t tell you what cost of all this work.  

 For us, life in America is lived like in a sitcom “Reba was recorded in front of a live audience” type of life, so when we get here, we can’t find anything that was sold to us. Politics are a mess, there is an inexistent universal health system, student loans and some people really don’t like immigrants and are not afraid to tell you, pretty much in your face.

That’s all I have to say for this week. Actually I have been working like crazy on a Spec Script and a Comedy Pilot, for eventually get an agent, so I can try to be a tv writer.

Be safe out there!

J.G. Snelly

The Social Media Effect.

How social media affects my confidence and my creativity

The past couple of weeks had been a series of events that I could not get my head around writing on the blog. I had my nieces visiting and having visitors is stressful, for different reasons. Also, they are Vegan, not that a problem, but at first, I had no idea what I would offer them to eat, and the stress part was starving the kids unintentionally.

The first day I had no clue of what could I cook for them besides vegetables and offer them coffee. Believe me, thats all I did for the first hours they were here. The second day, I come to my adult senses and ask them what could I cook for lunch, so we could all eat. I mean adult senses, because they are teenagers, at 15 and 18 years old. I was the responsible adult and feeling like a boss, I went to Walmart to buy veggies, tofu (couldn’t find it of course, found it at Whole Foods) and some veggie broth.

The menu I cooked was Brussels sprouts on the veggie broth and some teriyaki, Tofu with peppers and onions, some potatoes and grilled carrots. The girls enjoyed it, the younger one loved the Brussels and the tofu. My husband not so much. He always talks about eating healthy, but can’t eat vegetables. He was over dramatic about it, complain about how he remained hungry and minutes later, complain about having a headache, due to the lack of lunch. I enjoy eating vegan, my problem was actually the Brussels, as it left my entire house smelling like fart. If you have to cook it, open the windows and go ahead, light some candles. I’m warning you.

Another good highlight of this past week, is that I got rid of my social media apps on my phone, like Facebook and Twitter . I still use it, but like 2006, on my computer, when I’m home and make time for it. The reason why I decided to that, has a lot to do with the Mental Health issue I wrote about on the earlier post. I’m an advocate for this matter.

First of all, it was distracting, keeping me scrolling like a coin slot machine, always hoping for more and information that never seems enough. I saw the competitive side of people, the sad people, the attention seeker, the needy, the chains and I felt like I had enough. “If you love Jesus, you will share this photo”. Sure, cause Jesus will see me digging in social media like an addict and If I don’t share, he will not feel loved by me. Another factor, it messes with my confidence. How many times, have you felt like you are not good enough, due to great amount of “successful” friends?

People on social media always seems to have their live in a perfect world, with travels, jobs and everything else, they choose to post to make themselves to feel better. I wonder how much of this have actually a foot on their real day by day life? After spend an entire day, cussing myself for not getting my writing done, I sat down for a minute and let my mind wander. Those apps on my phone consuming my energy and my time, making me sad, needed to go. It was making my confidence drop to the ground. I’m sure I’m not alone with this feeling. Twitter is a constant battle of ego, Facebook is weddings, babies, my mom, and my aunt. So, I decided to drop the apps on my phone, only leaving Instagram, because I need to see what everyone else is having for lunch and I’m not that strong.

Back on the writing train, I’m currently working on my story about loneliness, that it was inspired by the years I lived in Sao Paulo, after moving back from Australia. It is about how loneliness pushes you to the edge and how can you make it out of it.

This is the “Dark Star” story excerpt :

“Another train has arrived at the station. It was probably the third or fourth I didn’t walk in. My brain is numb and I don’t feel like going home. The past couple of months it feels like I’m moved by unknown forces and the friction of my shoes against the concrete. I feel nothing.

I usually get home and there is no one there. I live alone and that how I feel the entire time. Except when I’m at work. I put a smile on my face, as I need to sell those trips for the rich kids who wants to experience what is to be out of their element. The agency sells it as a new life experience for a few months. In my mind I tell them “would you like to experience what is to be alone and the pain of not having familiar faces carving deep you skin?”  Let me show you how it feels…”

All that to get this little part on the script

FADE IN:

EXT. TRAIN PLATFORM – DAY

Mary 20’s, dressed informal with jeans and sneakers watch the train pass by.

Her eyes are fixed on the other side, like she sees something. She doesn’t blink.

Another Train arrive at the station. She doesn’t move.

I also received in the mail, my Rory Professional Cinema lights I bought in January. Its so bright, it seems like I could light up a stadium. I read the reviews and the were all saying great thing about it, and it was $79,00 after a promotional discount. I will soon be filming the Chiropractic videos for my husband’s YouTube Channel and the shorts.

As you can see, I decided to work for myself and move on from the writing jobs. It was not working, due to the lack of experience, as a recent graduate.

That’s all for this week ! Hope you get free from your fears and keep creating!

XXX

J. Snelly (@Joanagracio)

Unclogging your brain

Too much going around you and you are not getting any writing done? You are not alone.

I haven’t been constant in this blog. I have the blank page in front of me but it takes me a while to sit down and write. I fill myself with doubt, so nothing I write looks good enough to be worth posted. I questioned myself too much. Is there anyone actually reads? Does what I write make sense? I guess that a problem with every writer I know. The lack of confidence.

Its an exercise, as much as I try, days like yesterday that I feel bumped out and nothing is going the way I think it’s supposed to be going. Again, the monsters in my head are my friends and the days they are agitated, its a party on my brain. I’m not depressed or have any dopamine issue, I feel most of it is the competitiveness that surrounds us. Its the feeling of you are “never enough”, you are always behind, “you should have done these years ago” or “why did I spend 14 years working with hotels, when all I wanted to do was work with my creativity?”

I’m learning how to give myself time. For as long as I can remember, people put time frames on how you should live your life and that affects us until this day. People saying mean things to each other, without actually knowing what happens behind close curtains. I used to ask my husband a lot “You are 32! How come you don’t have your own place??” as he was still living at his parent’s house when we started dating. It turned out he had different purposes, like saving money to go to Chiropractic School in Georgia, and the monsters in my brain were belittling his reasons. I still think about how bad I was.

Everyone has a reason and my reason for working in hospitality for so many years was that I thought that it was the only thing I knew how to do it. I thought it was ok, or got so used to work during holidays and weekends that I saw it as a normal day of the week. I also think that all these years prepared me for not to be so whiny about the long hours I will have to put on my own work, like the scripts and the short movies I’m planning for this year.

I figured that I’m always looking for something that makes my brain work at ease, as I have so many distractions and so many options for entertainment. In the past few weeks, I have been making a habit out of some activities to help me out and improve my concentration and good state of mind. That’s what is working:

  • Meditation:
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I understand that the app developers have to get the money they invest back, but I also think someone really rich and established in life could make a free meditation app. I tried the free version of Headspace and fully intend to pay the 12.99 a month. Or as I count – 2 Starbucks coffee.

It’s so helpful to sit down for 5 or 10 minutes and just let the brain to calm down. On the scene of “Eat, Pray and Love” where Elizabeth goes to a Hindu temple in India and her mentor tells her how important it is to unclog the brain. He says at that moment that your brain is like a pipe taking information back and forth, and you if don’t clean it or unclog it, you get stuck with those thoughts. That’s why I’m a huge enthusiast of taking a few minutes per day to center yourself. Out of the entire movie, that scene keeps playing on a loop in my mind. Unclog your brain!

  • Leave your phone alone

This is definitely the hardest part for me. I don’t like social media and all the attention it gets from me and from my day. Yet, I come back every other 5 minutes, like I’m addicted gambler back at the poker table. I learned from an article once saying that social media developers plans and study ways on how to make your brain addicted, just like the slot machines in the casinos. The red notifications are there for a reason, everything is to encourage you to keep coming back. What works for me is leaving the phone in a different room. I occasionally go back and check it, but less often and I get more writing done this way.

  • Go for a walk
Image by Daniel Reche from Pixabay

I do this often, even when I don’t need to refresh my brain. I enjoy long walks to target, or at Target, in case you live in a city you can just use cars to move around. Walking around the neighborhood works well too. Sometimes I don’t even turn on my music, its just my ideas and the sounds. I used to walk a lot in Chicago, but the walks were usually five minutes around the block because the cold was unbearable. Please don’t get a frost bite. Today I’m going to a Valentines day scavenger Hunt at my complex to get prizes. There are days, most of the days, I don’t act my age. Its just fun.

PS: When this post was ready I have found two roses around the apartment complex.

  • Dance or listen to your favorite song
I do the same dance moves.

Don’t feel like dancing – Scissors Sisters is an instant mood boost for me. I forgot the song for years, and then the other day it played when I was really sad and unmotivated. I was send back to that time I listened to that song and wished for everything I have now. It works like an Anthem. Do you have one? I’m sure you do! Let me know in the comments, I might add it to my playlist.

  • Do something you love! -

I love drawing, but I’m horrible at it. I’m fully aware. I enjoy doing it knowing that its a hobby and something I’d like to learn, for someday maybe, a person will look at it and say it “oh! it looks great!” instead of “keep trying”. It brings me joy, to scribble or draw faces and scenarios, I usually have a story behind my drawings, because, I write and my brain fumes if I don’t.

Sunny Side Up by J. Snelly

For many years I was too tired to focus in what I liked doing it, only focusing on work and making the days go by. Existing, not living. For many years I was just a working body, serving food and drinks and making sure the silverware was polished before rolling it.

After two Therapy sessions, I was able to hear myself out loud, and putting myself first, was like being back in my body, taking a few minutes a day to draw and write, and have some joy, instead of hallucinating because I was not “successful” in life. I still battle against that stereotype of what is to be successful every once in while. I have to train the brain on how to be content, and stop the never ending chase.

J. Snelly