Why I respect bad days

*I have no medical background and this post is about my experiences dealing with my own emotions. If you are feeling under the weather for too long, you should definitely look for help.

In the past years, I learned how to respect my bad days. A long time ago, I used to keep the bad feeling moving for days, even weeks, the sensation of not being good enough or not being capable to start what I had a plan, lingering in my brain. I ended up in a rut many times, only to turn on the tv and call it a day, as I felt guilty and unaccomplished . I still do that, but instead of making it last for a week, now I learn how to live the bad day to the fullest. Instead of fighting it, I embrace it.

I don’t have money for therapy, which in my opinion should be free. We all are in a serious need of healthy state of mind, like someone told me once, its like yoga for the brain, and we need the wires connected to the right colors, otherwise, some of us can live in an edge of power bust anytime. I feel like that sometimes. To be honest, I feel like that at least once a week, and that how I learned how to manage the fire cracks in my brain.

During the months of lockdown, many of us were left to our loneliness, glued to our phones, watching TikTok on an endless loop, binge drinking, feeling hopeless. In quarantine, I followed some travel pages. It was easy to picture myself in Greece or Norway, where they were coming out of quarantine slowly, well managed and were able to enjoy some of their summers and the beautiful outdoors, without being harassed because of masks. Swimming and eating at nice restaurants. On my bad days, I let it sink that none of that might be possible for us in America anytime soon. Politics got heavily in the way, like quicksand, we can’t get out. All we have left is a dream for better days.

When I’m having a bad day, I go for long walks.

I walk around my apartment complex like I’m on a mission. I play with dogs, I sit around and stare at nothing. I let the brain wander, I manage to think the worst possible case scenarios for my future, being ridiculously overdramatic to the point I can even handle myself. When my husband is at home, I drive him crazy. He also learned how to deal with my bad days. He knows that on a bad day I can be super rude, and it’s not intentional, I love him on his bad days too.

I listen to melodramatic music.

I have a questionable taste in music, for what I know, I’m stuck in the early 2000’s pop. No, I don’t like country. My gem is the pop songs, like Britney Spears and the rest of the pop entourage. When I’m sad, I know exactly what kind of songs I look for, Kelly Clarkson for example. I swear if I’m at a store and “Because of you” starts playing I will breakdown crying. That song destroys me, I’m not going to even say anything about the music video. Same happens with Lucky, by Britney Spears. Poor girl is so lucky, she is a star, but she cry cry cry in the lonely nights. The dad took all her rights to her own money! I would be sad too.

Also #FreeBritney

Don’t try to cover it, live it up.

What most people will tell you is “Don’t be sad, look what you have, you are so lucky and blessed.” Yes, I know all that, still, I have the right to have emotions that are not connected to my blessings. I can still be healthy and feel rejected, out of place, mistreated, and yet live in a palace. It’s not about what you have on the outside, its how you feel right now. During my teenage years, I used to live with my mom and my aunt, her sister. My dad was living his best life somewhere else. My mom and aunt are opposites. So I learned how to manage emotions in a very scrambled way. My mom is very focused, dry ice, straight to the point almost, almost military. My aunt is emotional, dramatic, intense, and soft. How were they raised by the same exact person, I will never know. During my teenage years, I heard my mom saying “Though it up, look forward, don’t be dramatic” on the other side, I had my aunt, falling in and out of love, crying and respecting her sadness. True to be told, I don’t think my mom had time to let emotions take over, as she was too busy, juggling all her responsibilities. I had to find a middle ground and it took me years to mature the idea that it’s ok not to be ok all the time.

Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

When my emotions are all over the place, I give myself the right not to write. For the blog or any other outlet, I mean. The blog it’s not a diary. Its a tool that I have to share my opinions and find people who would like to read about different subjects like the journey of pursuing different creative outlets. While it is about starting over, its also about how to live in America and enjoy to the fullest, while not being born and raised in America.

The bad days are here to show us that we are alive and we have bad feelings too. Life its not a Greek Instagram account, with beautiful sceneries, train rides, and people smiling and eating delicious food all the time. Don’t be fooled by this happiness, as most of it is fabricated for sale. It’s ok to be sad today, learn about yourself, and seek help if you feel like it’s not going away. CBD oil is working for me, as I have been noticing it aligns my anxiety. Seek for what could help you. It’s important to know yourself and what is causing the sadness.

Be safe and Stay healthy !

J.G.Snelly

Beautiful Chaotic Chicago.

*I wrote this post in July 2020. The city still hasn’t recover from the Covid Pandemic, all the stores are closing and the as far as I know, a lot business are on the same path. I’m deeply saddened by how my favorite city is looking right now. But hopefully soon, they will rise. I love Chicago and wish them a speed recovery.

Today I woke up missing Chicago and then I though about this post I wrote and never post it.

I remember the first time I walked around the city. Almost 8 years ago, I arrived in the country, not knowing what was going to happen from that point on. All I had was hope for a better future. After all this time, I still think about that feeling of starting over. Fresh out of the boat.

Before moving to Chicago, I was living in Sao Paulo, which is the most overcrowded city on the planet with a population of roughly 22 million, only behind Delhi and Shanghai. While the winter lasts for a good nine months out of the year, during the summer months that are plenty to do, even free entertainment, for our delight.

Downtown Chicago Congress Hotel

The city has its major problems, like any other big city, but I won’t focus on that. Let’s focus on what makes it fun!

Here are my ideas of favorites to explore while in town: 

1- The CTA – Chicago Transit Authority –

Also know as “The L” . Yes, why the number one item of my list the 100 years old is public failing transportation system? Because if you want to be a local, it’s a must that you explore the city on the train. It’s cheap, reliable, and chaotic. It runs around the entire city, so you see all kinds of people on the train. Depending on which line, or what time, it gets a little danger, but I’m not about to be negative. Let the News do it. From some accounts on Twitter dedicated to the lines, the RedLine is probably the most famous one, and the tweets are hilarious and I’m happy to understand what they are talking about. A lot of nonsense. If you never got called out in the train by a stranger in the train or bus while Chicago, you are not doing it right!

Uptown Train Station

2- The People 

Almost everyone living here is from somewhere else. I also mean all over the world, and they are welcoming. Different from Georgia, where I was asked every five minutes where I was from, because of my accent, alas in the South its almost like a cow branding, in Chicago nobody cares. I believe the cold brings us a sense of community, as we are always engaging with each other and talking about how cold this place is, or making some snarky comment on how is always construction time.  Being from somewhere different, gives everyone a sense of belonging.

3- The Food Culture

One of the reasons why the food is so great is the city is so diverse. Because of all different ethnicities, you can find all kinds of foods, walking distance from one street to another. Chicago has all kind of cuisines, of course, is also known by the Fine Dining classic cuisine, where the seven-course dinner might cost you 300 bucks, for a private area at the restaurant where the Chef feed you in your mouth, or you can stick to the cheap part and enjoy it, without breaking the bank. Last weekend, my friend was visiting from Georgia and she wanted to have a typical Chicago Hot dog, so we went to a small hot dog parlor in Old Town, considerably cheap, for that part of town, which is an upscale neighborhood area. Across from us, there were some youngsters having brunch and yelling across the speed of sound. You can imagine what kind of people they are. 

4– Diverse Neighborhoods. 

As city being so diverse, Chicago makes you feel like exploring a lot, by feet or bus, checking the different architecture of every neighborhood and the people. Lakeview has different pockets, The East, is where the party happens, they have BoysTown, the LGBTQ+ neighborhood, it is always fun to walk around, with great restaurant to visit. The WrigglyField – Cubs’ baseball stadium is located a block away. At Lakeview West, you have also great bars, and Argentinian BYOB SteakHouse, an old Movie Theater on Southport, and a lot of yoga moms. Logan Square you find the hipster millennial crowd. Vegan Coffee shops, Indy movie Theaters, PopUp restaurants with a different theme every month, and a super appealing farmers market. Pilsen is the Hispanic community, full of again, nice people and delicious Pan. For sure, is a lot to explore and I could keep telling you about this place forever. 

5- Free Entertainment. 

 Free entertainment all year round in the city, but let’s keep the list to summer months because besides the city looking pretty in the winter, with a lot of chance of snow, it’s a bit safer to venture yourself during the warmer months. From April on(if we are lucky), when it starts to get a little warmer, a lot of neighborhoods hold a farmers market. Its always great fun and delicious food, that you can either eat at the market or take it with you, last one I visited, they had a Tamales stand and Mexican corn, let me tell you there was a line for it. A lot of festivals going around town, the bacon fest, the taco fest, the Roscoe fest, and so on. Every weekend there is a different street closing for the visitor to rejoice. You can also rend a Divy Bike and ride on the lakeshore

Millennium Park has a free movies, that you can sit at the grass, with a picnic mat and enjoy with friends, there is also dance festivals at Navy Pier and a lot of good to do, if you don’t want to break the bank. After all, Chicago is an expensive city, the taxes are higher and the probability that you are going to spend more than you expected is almost guaranteed. 

A cold night in January

Chicago is a great city. I believe that a lot of what you see in the media is overrated. The city has great people. I’m hoping to go back and visit my friends soon. As soon as we are cleared from Corona, because now my friends are also stranded at home, just like me, here in Austin.

Pin made with Canva Design website.

Stay Safe!

J.G. Snelly