Merry Crisis and a happy new Fear!

Sometimes I looks around and I’m thankful for all I have. Its not the material stuff, it is a story of my achievements. On the wall, on my table, in the small memorabilia I acquired throughout the years. It all takes back to a time when I arrived in this country and all I had was my laptop, a few pieces of clothes and an air mattress.

This year it was the 10th anniversary of me arriving in the USA.

There was a long way and don’t take nothing for granted. My fridge full of food, gas in the car, a warm house and a loving husband. The small things in life should be appreciated. All the small victories should have never been taken for granted. America has changed me a lot.

As I look around the room, the small SheShad that I build, that I like to call my office/ studio, I can see all the progress I made in those years of sweat and tears. I might not have a higher CEO position in a company, I might not have bought a property, I don’t even have a bicycle, but you know what I have? Hope. Joy. Again, pride in my small victories.

Immigrants are ingrained with the moral and social responsibility of succeeding. So we can show our people, who stayed back home, we left for good a reason. We left for a better life, comfort and some more money. That makes them think we are rich. Because we are in America and have the newest IPhones, we are loaded with money.

The better life not always means more money.

Eventually it just means you have the safety you didn’t have in your own country, or that you feel safer to be who you are without being killed. By religion, by society standarts among other things. What people don’t see is, we are probably broken inside, and filled with guilt of leaving everything behind to start over. And most of the times, there are families who stayed back home, are guilt-tripping us into some madness, some psychological warfare. So we find our family members that we choose to put in our lives. Your support system.

We bond over our failures

Your support system are usually other people that has the same struggles as you. Mine are immigrants( and poc, who are indeed immigrants too). All my friends were bonkered (my word of choice for “screwed”)  in a different way arriving in this country. We bond over our failures and our achievements. We sit at the bar and we cry because sometimes life sucks.

I look around in my office, full of stuff, I’m taken back to how much I had to get rid off, in order to accomplish everything that hangs on the wall. When my confidence is nowhere to be found, I stay quiet in my chair, look at my pictures, and share some gratitude. I manifest to the universe all the cool thinks that are still to come, how strong I was to get where I’m today and I ask you to do the same.

New year, new me. Not really.


Next week, we enter a new year, and with that all those promises to get better, the lists, the goals comes at you all at once. Keep it simple, I suggest. I’ve been doing it the past couple of years, with just a few items on the list. Going to Therapy is the one I keep dragging to another year. Since I don’t have insurance, the therapy podcasts are doing the dirty job. The second one is to write the script. I have it on a notebook, I wrote a little while I was at work, bored.So now I need to put it on Final Draft to accomplish the goal.

Again, keep it simple.

Want to eat healthier? Start by eating more fruits. Want to have a better and mindful attitude? Take long walks. Do something everyday that makes you happy. That’s been working for me. But there are also days when it doesn’t. So I give myself time and wait for the day to be over. I don’t write, edit, cook, or do anything. I just allowed myself to be away.

I let my mind wander.

My goal’s list are not up for next year yet. The past years the goals had been to intense, so 2023 I’m taking easier, way easier. Goals like citizenship, drivers license, create a youtube channel ( and actually post content) took a big part on my life during the previous years.

2023 I want to take even easier and maintain low expectations. Of course I want a lot, I’m just too scared to write it down.


Have you made your goals for next year yet? Let me know in the comments! Do you dream big, or do you keep on the down low like me? I’m going to work on mine resolutions now and post it here at the beginning of the year.

See you next week!

Stay healthy, Stay safe!



Just Keep Swimming

Another year starts and we come up with a lot of resolutions we are most certainly can’t keep up. A few years ago, one of the most successful resolutions I made was to stop drinking so much Starbucks coffee, as I was spending more money than I would like to on it. I’m not a fan of corporations and after reading that it cost the establishment 45 cents to make a coffee and how much they were profiting from it, I was ok not having it. I much rather get my coffee at a local coffee shop. What all this have to do with Writing? I tell you. My resolutions for this year are big. Bigger than it has ever been. I came to the conclusion that I want to start working on my production channel for Youtube or Vimeo. Getting a writing job is being clearly impossible, as they want years of experience, even for freelancing articles.

During the holidays, after another fail attempt to get a regular job, because of the high risk that type of job involved, nonetheless being an Auto-Attendant. It is like a flight attendant, but serving food and snacks on a moving bus while on the highway to Dallas and back. I watched some videos and start reading about how some successful people started. Not the ones who have had financial help, the ones who started gambling with scratchy. As a result of watching these videos, I end up at Target buying a huge calendar, hung my whiteboards, yes, I have two, and map it out what I want this year to be like in terms of achievement.

Once you put out your projects on a paper, it starts to look real. I’m not a very technological person. I always have a notebook and a pencil with me, just in case. Some ideas are good and others just linger for no reason; During the holiday season, I found an old prompt book that gives you a few words and you have to create a story with it. I can’t have enough of these books. One of the prompts I choose was “Selling a childhood home” and the words were: Convince, Dreamscape, Pioneer. I end up writing a short story called “The white house by the lake”. The only word I used was dreamscape.

“The White House by the Lake” is about a problematic friendship in the ’60s, with a mentally unstable person and her loyal friend. The house represented the stability one of them never had. After reading a couple of times, I decided I want to rewrite as a Horror, due to the behavior of the crazy friend. I’m working on it to post it on the project session here soon. I hope having a calendar helps.

During this time I also decided that the story I’m writing for the past 3 years, should be a web series, so I have to write the scripts. I figure out that if I wait to write this as a book, it would take me a long time. People erroneously think that writing its an easy job, it is just sit down and write. What they don’t see is that it is time-consuming, you are always terrified that no one will like it, you have the rabbit hole of the research part, and writing with no distractions it is like finding money on your jacket. Let me tell you that the only tv that works with the Playstation is in the space I call my office and my husband just got two new games, so fights, monsters and explosions are literally the white noise I didn’t ask for. If you can work in the midst of chaos, I would give you a hug right now. I admire people who can thrive in the chaos.

Hooray for the Writer Moms! I cherish you and I envy you!

So far, having a designated place to write is working. Most of the time is not peaceful, but it works. As long as I have a noise cancelling earphones it works.

See you soon,

J. Snellenberger

Exit mobile version