Is she too old for that TikTok mess?

 

TikTok has been around as a successful platform for about two years. At least for my knowledge. At first, it was a platform for dancing teenagers and voiceovers, now everyone has space on it. It took me forever to get into it, as I was very resistant to the idea of dancing or doing some funny stuff. I’m not very shy, but in all honesty, I think I’m.

The platform of instant Pandemic celebrities

The platform of instant Pandemic celebrities, millions and millions of views, and in my case a very diverse For You page. I learned that your page, most likely because of algorithms, will show what you like to see. I’ve seen all kinds of different content and I support them all. People forget that the internet is also a place where you can learn about different lives and points of view. Learn about people’s journeys and cherish their stories. I follow trans people, indigenous, lgbtq+, people of color, immigrants, and people who indeed need their voices heard and found on TikTok a safe space to share. My 35-year-old bum is there to laugh and learn.

I had different goals when I created the account

When I first created my account, back this past February, I did it with the intention of finally put the Shrubbery Show into a fast-paced platform, to have some visibility, as after I gain some followers, I would drag these people to youtube. Again, I was too shy. I had everything ready, the skits, the characters, the scenes, as I got ready to film I realized I knew nothing about the app. And I mean nothing.

My video editing learning curve stopped in 2009 when I used to work on Windows Movie Maker, putting files together, and sharing on youtube. It’s been so long, that at that time, you could use any kind of music you wanted to make videos and it wasn’t infringing copyrights. Today, if I sing in my video, they drop it, because I’m singing without permission.

The greedy people really ruined my Mariah Carey performance.

I also couldn’t keep up with the new software because one: I didn’t have a computer, I mean a decent one, two, I couldn’t afford the software. And 3 I always doubted my abilities to learn the software.

The Shrubbery Show got put aside, again when it may, we bought a 1995 truck camper to remodel and travel around Colorado. So I decided to change the name of the channel, to travel with the camper, and then change again to Live Out Loud Too – Travels, and next month when the app allows me, I will do it again. But I do feel that Live Out Loud too as my brand, should work fine.

I’m 35 and I can’t figure out how TikTok works.

The videos I’ve been putting there are short videos of our first trip, as I couldn’t figure out how to edit it properly. I don’t know how to put my persona out there, without feeling stupid, so it all seems too serious. It happens with my blog too.

I’m constantly held back because I’m afraid of being criticized by strangers, who are not always too nice with other people’s ideas, so I’m still testing the water. I have seen some people of my age group doing the funniest thing because they don’t care. I need to get on their level of confidence.

How much time do you need to be successful on TikTok?

I heard that to be on what the app considers a success level you have to post 3 videos a day. There is no way unless you are 16 this is your only job. You just dance away and get endorsed to show products. So I started to calculate that to be an influencer, you have to live a life on your phone.

Paris Hilton said in her documentary that she stays 16 hours a day logged in, and guess what? She just got her own cooking show.

Pinterest says you have to post 100 pins, IG said you have to make reels and post fresh content at least once a day. You have to have a Facebook Group and be active on it. Look how much you have to do, only to remain relevant. I’ve seen people who steal content from others, people who criticize people for being themselves, but I also saw some very funny people.

I’m the person who watches your video to the end, likes it, shares it, and makes comments on it. And I do that mostly with small accounts, just like mine. When it comes to creating videos, I rarely show my face on them. The other day, I saw a video from a Pakistani girl, who makes cooking videos. She talked on that video about how someone in the comments said her accent was giving headaches.

“I’m sorry my accent gives you headaches”

I felt so sorry for her, especially because of how nasty people can be when this is not our first language, and we don’t sound like we are from the Valley. If you read this blog, you know how much this type of attitude irritates me and my entire soul. I followed her immediately and commented on it. “Your English is amazing, please don’t let people discourage you, your accent it’s great too!”

I’m all here for all kinds of diversity creators. I’m too old to give a 16-year-old audience, just because she dances. I need more.

I need more cooking with accents. Trans people teaching how to fix things around the house, Indigenous people telling me how they feel, and talking about their culture. People who gossip about celebrities and make fun of movies.

Just because I don’t seem to have the app figure out yet, that doesn’t mean I don’t spend a good amount of time watching it. I wrote all that to say that, last week we went camping for the first time.

 

We went to Thunder Ridge Camp Ground, which is 2.5 hours away from home. These are the TikTok videos I created. The only thing I could think of was making a mash-up of Crib MTV and Pimp My Ride. The camper is from 1995, after all. As you can see, it was all filmed in one shot.

MTV Cribs and Pimp My ride.

I will post more about the trip on a different post. If you have TikTok and you follow me here, follow me there too.

Thanks for reading and keep up with my mid 30’s crisis! See you next week!

Be safe, Stay healthy!

J.S

 

It’s ok to be a late bloomer in a new career.

Are you a late bloomer in your new career? Have you finally had the chance to pursue your goals a few years after your 30’s? It’s ok. It happened to me too! There is nothing wrong with being in your 30’s 40’s or even older and decided to step up and work on something you always wanted to.

Warning: being true to yourself might cause dizziness, lack of confidence, confusion, doubts of a better future, sometimes inevitable crying, and skeptics from family and friends.

Deciding on your career at 19 it’s not very smart.

I had to decide on my first career at 19 years old. At such a young age and with no realistic expectations, the only thing I knew was, I loved traveling and I wanted to live working in fancy hotels. Maybe traveling and visiting places around the globe. In my second semester, I realized I wanted to write for Lonely Planet magazine. Had to bottle up because of circumstances at that time.

When I graduated in 2008, there were no Youtube Channels that had traveling as the main content. In our Tourism and hospitality field at that time, we were supposed to work at the hotel front desk or in a restaurant as a food and beverage supervisor, we had to climb our way up for years unless you mess around with a manager. Not my kind of climbing.

Years of running around in my 20’s and financial instability.

The reason why it took me so long to pursue what I wanted in the first place was, years of running around in circles, moving countries, and being out of status in the USA for three years. I finally had the chance to change careers in 2017.

Only after I got my document, the time I needed to dedicate myself, and the courage to apply and sink myself in debt. In my 30’s. It was not an easy decision to go back to school and learn a completely different subject. In a second language. While working as a waitress in a bar.

When old dreams knock on your door, open it.

In 2017, as I decided I was going to follow my long life dream to be a writer, having so much to say and my voice needs to be heard because I believe I’m not the only one going through this. I want to write for tv shows and create characters based on what I had to deal with being an immigrant. Of course, that not only valid for me.

I have seen a lot of young kids these days, making a lot of money in different apps, especially dancing around TikTok, teaching make up tutorials and that can be very discouraging. I feel out of place every time someone who is 17 is extremely successful because of an app, and I and others who work so hard barely can get by.

Last week, I received a phone call from the Career Center, from my school, to check if I had any success after graduation. I told him no. I have a blog, but I haven’t had any success, at least not in what I expected to succeed.

A career switch in your 30’s is risky but sometimes necessary.

As I explained to him, changing careers in your 30’s is not an easy task. Especially when you are competing with a super high tech new generation that was born with a phone in their hands. I’m used to working with customer service and run around in a restaurant like there is no tomorrow.

I can multitask, I’m street smart and I’m good with sales but put a photoshop program open in front of me, and I freeze. I know how to crop and resize. Work with brightness and contrast, but that’s it. I tried to remove the background of the image once and it made me want to cry.

It like being born again, but older and broke.

Relearning all the new programs has been the hardest part. It feels like I slept for the past 14 years, while I was hands-on in the restaurant job trying to survive, the technology of the world moved on and I didn’t follow.

Every time I look for a job, either in content writing or marketing, the position requires at least five years of experience, my heart, soul, plus the B2B copy samples to prove I can do it. How do you have five years of experience on something that you just started?

There is nothing wrong with starting over, as many times you need to. People tend to believe, because of the social standards imposed by society, you have to be successful before 30, married with kids and a white fenced house.

I’m sorry, but this American dream from the early ’70s doesn’t exist anymore. It only exists to put pressure on people and make them feel bad for their life path. It works the same way the beauty standards. Sephora would never sell you a 60 dollar foundation if they don’t make you believe you need it.

During the conversation I had with the career center, the person who called me told me he understood what I was going through because he was also in his 30s and majoring in Audio Production. I wonder how many people are frustrated about trying to start something over

The fear of wasting time and failing again.

A career change in your 30s is filled with doubt and an intense lack of confidence. It’s usually surrounded by fear and sometimes a huge push to move forward. Days that you will feel like you will conquer all your dreams, because you have a lot of experience in different life areas and days will you feel paralyzed by fear of failing again.

You will feel like there is no space for error anymore, is either now or never. Why didn’t you find out how to follow your dream sooner? Maybe you didn’t have the finances, maybe you had babies and had to take care of your family, or you spent some good amount of years, trying to be something or someone, an important person for you, though you were or had to be. You were filling someone else’s expectations and not yours. My mom doesn’t understand why I want to do it. Neither does my dad.

Ok, Boomer.

Being born and raised into a boomer generation family, who never followed any dreams, always worked 9 to 5, and expected you to do the same and be successful is very nerve-wracking. I tried to explain to my mom what a screenwriter does, and told her about my YouTube channel plans. She says “go for it” even though she has no idea of what I’m talking about.

There were a few times she threw some shade at me talking about my successful cousins are, who at the age of 30 got some assets like a house and a car under their names. Like happiness and success is measure by what you can purchase.

It will take time to become an expert.

Sometimes it comes to a point in your life you can’t pretend anymore. You have to work on something that fulfills you. It’s ok if you are not an expert right away. It will take me a good amount of years to be as good a screenwriter as I’m waiting tables. I never thought I was gonna be able to manage taking care of all those tables and customers, I was macerated when I first started. How hard can it be to wait tables, right? I will write in a different post. There was no hope for me, but I insisted, as I’m insisting now.

I will not let this go and you shouldn’t either. I made a promise to myself I would make it work. There is no timeline to make things happen, you can take your time. Surrender the pressure other people put on you. You shouldn’t be scared to try. You shouldn’t be scared to follow your heart, and find the happiness you deserve.

Keeping the dream alive

Forget about the idea that you are getting too old to try. One of my favorite authors, Rachel Hollis, wrote in her book” Girl Stop Apologize” and I quote “Dedicate one hour of your day for your projects” and that’s what I try to do since I read it. One hour a day to work on what I want, either illustrating, writing, making music. Keeping the dream alive, until you can work with it fully.

Let me know in the comments how are you keeping your dreams alive and if you had a career change later in life! Or if you still looking!

Follow me on my social media for more of my Mid 30’s life struggles!

Stay healty! Stay Sane!

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