I’m not hiding my accent or who I’m anymore. Here is why

I’m not hiding my accent or who I’m anymore. Here is why :

When I arrived in America, my nationality was stamped on my forehead. I had a heavy accent, my voice was loud, and I laughed even when the joke was about me and my culture. A few years passed and I started to understand all those jokes were about how I sounded my quirky behavior, and all the judgment coming from my new American friends.

The last picture in Brazil, before moving to the US of A in 2012.

While I wanted to blend in, I was cutting the tree branches, one by one, until I felt like I had no identity anymore. That behavioral change hit its peak when I lived in Georgia.

Georgia on my mind

Working in a restaurant, as a server, with an entire Southern American crew, the boss, the supervisor, and the other servers, I felt compelled to muffle my feelings and choke on sentimentalism. Get up, put on a happy face, work 14 hours a day, while being homesick and broken inside. You have no right to complain. You are a second-class citizen.

I listened to diminishing jokes about my culture, which some of those people thought it was funny to make fun of, second-guessing my abilities to work like the others, leaving me to be the last one to be a trainer. Only because of the place I came from and the way I sounded.

Never arrived late at work, never called in sick, and it was on the team since the first week they opened. Being oversee by management, bothered me because I knew I was working hard, crying on the way back home. Exhausted, because I knew I needed to be better than everyone else, even when I was not being watched by anyone.You can’t relax like you peers. I was still a second-class citizen.

The hard path to belong.

One day, I was so irritated by that situation, I started to look on Youtube, how Hollywood actresses changed that accent for different roles in movies. I found exercises you could do, to minimize, and make your speech clear. My husband got mad at me, saying he loved my accent, while I told him,” I need the job, we need that job. I can’t be fired because they think I have language barrier by the way I sound.”

I couldn’t quit, because for the entire year I worked there, I was still working towards my permanent residency. And he was still at Chiropractic school.

Many of the problems I encounter here in America, is because of the lack of confidence I have ingrained in me because, for the longest time, I had been quiet just to get by. Every time I look for a job that’s not restaurant-related I think “why would they hire me, instead of a born and raised American?” So I freeze and don’t complete the application. That’s where I find myself these days.

My Production Company is going great. In my mind. Not in real life.

There is nothing in this country that encourages people like me, to step up and find their way. I’m always held back by some stupid insecurity that shouldn’t exist, that it was caused by the system. Since the dawn of time, if you are different, you don’t feel like belong here.

I’m working towards having my own production company, which right at this moment is very successful in my brain, but completely paralyzed by fear in real life. I wish I could blame the Pandemic, maybe I can partially. Being a multi-hyphenated person, I did more than just write. I also draw, photograph, make videos and learn about websites, among other things to fill up my days. Instead of focusing on only one thing.

Why would someone have to change their names to fit in?

A segment on the news just showed a lady who had to adapt her name, to succeed in Corporate America. Once again, if you are different from what’s expected, you have to suffer, to adapt to a certain way people will accept you.

It happens to all of us that fit in the box. It’s frustrating to live in a society that makes us all sound the same, dress the same and look the same. The lady from the segment decided she was going to use her full name, instead of adaptation, and she looked happy. How can you tell someone to change who they are, to fit in? That’s pure evil.

People are easy to judge and label you. Either by where you came from, the way you behave, or your name. I had to lower my voice, because “it’s too Brazilian” and we are loud. I stand too close to people in the line, and we talk touching people. Americans hate that. I learned about it at the first restaurant I worked in in Chicago. Every time I talked to them, if I move my hand to touch their shoulder, they would flinch. Sometimes, I did it on purpose, their reaction always made me giggle.

Unapologetically Brazilian

Practically having to be reborn as a new person, learn all the values, all the habits, the food, the behavior, the laws of the land in my 30’s. While still being who I’m and who I was before, it’s a daily challenge. Because of that pressure, I let go of worrying about my accent and I’m not worried about it anymore. If I sound like I just arrived here, while asking where the bathroom is in Disneyland, deal with it.

The beauty of being yourself it’s to live free. There are no laws that say that you have to fit in, look and act the same to belong. I wonder why we are so drawn to characters on shows that are funny and quirky, its probably because they are a portrait of something we would like to be in real life.

As I get older, I care less and less about what people think about me and my life, and you should too. It’s fun to be different, to have your vocabulary and the unique way you sound to others. Don’t hide anymore. Make a promise to yourself that, after the Corona Crisis, you will be reborn into something you always wanted to be.

There is no more time to waste. Not after this crisis. Not after being locked up at home, like a bird in a cage, for an entire year and counting.

My promise to myself is not trying to change who I’m anymore to fit in the American patterns. That means that I will be loud, I will be emotional, and I won’t hide where I’m from anymore. I belong to this country as much as any other person born and raised here. My culture will just add up to stir the pot. Like many other cultures that makes this country so amazing and so appealing for all of us.

I had a similar post about this last year Be True to your School

This one was about empowering and embracing your weirdness. This time around it’s to embrace your plenitude and your culture, as part of yourself, of who I’m.

It’s ok to be a late bloomer in a new career.

Are you a late bloomer in your new career? Have you finally had the chance to pursue your goals a few years after your 30’s? It’s ok. It happened to me too! There is nothing wrong with being in your 30’s 40’s or even older and decided to step up and work on something you always wanted to.

Warning: being true to yourself might cause dizziness, lack of confidence, confusion, doubts of a better future, sometimes inevitable crying, and skeptics from family and friends.

Deciding on your career at 19 it’s not very smart.

I had to decide on my first career at 19 years old. At such a young age and with no realistic expectations, the only thing I knew was, I loved traveling and I wanted to live working in fancy hotels. Maybe traveling and visiting places around the globe. In my second semester, I realized I wanted to write for Lonely Planet magazine. Had to bottle up because of circumstances at that time.

When I graduated in 2008, there were no Youtube Channels that had traveling as the main content. In our Tourism and hospitality field at that time, we were supposed to work at the hotel front desk or in a restaurant as a food and beverage supervisor, we had to climb our way up for years unless you mess around with a manager. Not my kind of climbing.

Years of running around in my 20’s and financial instability.

The reason why it took me so long to pursue what I wanted in the first place was, years of running around in circles, moving countries, and being out of status in the USA for three years. I finally had the chance to change careers in 2017.

Only after I got my document, the time I needed to dedicate myself, and the courage to apply and sink myself in debt. In my 30’s. It was not an easy decision to go back to school and learn a completely different subject. In a second language. While working as a waitress in a bar.

When old dreams knock on your door, open it.

In 2017, as I decided I was going to follow my long life dream to be a writer, having so much to say and my voice needs to be heard because I believe I’m not the only one going through this. I want to write for tv shows and create characters based on what I had to deal with being an immigrant. Of course, that not only valid for me.

I have seen a lot of young kids these days, making a lot of money in different apps, especially dancing around TikTok, teaching make up tutorials and that can be very discouraging. I feel out of place every time someone who is 17 is extremely successful because of an app, and I and others who work so hard barely can get by.

Last week, I received a phone call from the Career Center, from my school, to check if I had any success after graduation. I told him no. I have a blog, but I haven’t had any success, at least not in what I expected to succeed.

A career switch in your 30’s is risky but sometimes necessary.

As I explained to him, changing careers in your 30’s is not an easy task. Especially when you are competing with a super high tech new generation that was born with a phone in their hands. I’m used to working with customer service and run around in a restaurant like there is no tomorrow.

I can multitask, I’m street smart and I’m good with sales but put a photoshop program open in front of me, and I freeze. I know how to crop and resize. Work with brightness and contrast, but that’s it. I tried to remove the background of the image once and it made me want to cry.

It like being born again, but older and broke.

Relearning all the new programs has been the hardest part. It feels like I slept for the past 14 years, while I was hands-on in the restaurant job trying to survive, the technology of the world moved on and I didn’t follow.

Every time I look for a job, either in content writing or marketing, the position requires at least five years of experience, my heart, soul, plus the B2B copy samples to prove I can do it. How do you have five years of experience on something that you just started?

There is nothing wrong with starting over, as many times you need to. People tend to believe, because of the social standards imposed by society, you have to be successful before 30, married with kids and a white fenced house.

I’m sorry, but this American dream from the early ’70s doesn’t exist anymore. It only exists to put pressure on people and make them feel bad for their life path. It works the same way the beauty standards. Sephora would never sell you a 60 dollar foundation if they don’t make you believe you need it.

During the conversation I had with the career center, the person who called me told me he understood what I was going through because he was also in his 30s and majoring in Audio Production. I wonder how many people are frustrated about trying to start something over

The fear of wasting time and failing again.

A career change in your 30s is filled with doubt and an intense lack of confidence. It’s usually surrounded by fear and sometimes a huge push to move forward. Days that you will feel like you will conquer all your dreams, because you have a lot of experience in different life areas and days will you feel paralyzed by fear of failing again.

You will feel like there is no space for error anymore, is either now or never. Why didn’t you find out how to follow your dream sooner? Maybe you didn’t have the finances, maybe you had babies and had to take care of your family, or you spent some good amount of years, trying to be something or someone, an important person for you, though you were or had to be. You were filling someone else’s expectations and not yours. My mom doesn’t understand why I want to do it. Neither does my dad.

Ok, Boomer.

Being born and raised into a boomer generation family, who never followed any dreams, always worked 9 to 5, and expected you to do the same and be successful is very nerve-wracking. I tried to explain to my mom what a screenwriter does, and told her about my YouTube channel plans. She says “go for it” even though she has no idea of what I’m talking about.

There were a few times she threw some shade at me talking about my successful cousins are, who at the age of 30 got some assets like a house and a car under their names. Like happiness and success is measure by what you can purchase.

It will take time to become an expert.

Sometimes it comes to a point in your life you can’t pretend anymore. You have to work on something that fulfills you. It’s ok if you are not an expert right away. It will take me a good amount of years to be as good a screenwriter as I’m waiting tables. I never thought I was gonna be able to manage taking care of all those tables and customers, I was macerated when I first started. How hard can it be to wait tables, right? I will write in a different post. There was no hope for me, but I insisted, as I’m insisting now.

I will not let this go and you shouldn’t either. I made a promise to myself I would make it work. There is no timeline to make things happen, you can take your time. Surrender the pressure other people put on you. You shouldn’t be scared to try. You shouldn’t be scared to follow your heart, and find the happiness you deserve.

Keeping the dream alive

Forget about the idea that you are getting too old to try. One of my favorite authors, Rachel Hollis, wrote in her book” Girl Stop Apologize” and I quote “Dedicate one hour of your day for your projects” and that’s what I try to do since I read it. One hour a day to work on what I want, either illustrating, writing, making music. Keeping the dream alive, until you can work with it fully.

Let me know in the comments how are you keeping your dreams alive and if you had a career change later in life! Or if you still looking!

Follow me on my social media for more of my Mid 30’s life struggles!

Stay healty! Stay Sane!

The New Roaring 20’s are coming!

When the new roaring ’20s finally starts!

After a week of feeling low, I’m back ! And since this blog is about empowerment and positivity, today I’m writing about The Roaring ’20s. As soon as the vaccine is in, I will start getting ready to be out. It’s easy to understand now why people from the roaring ’20s were always overdressed. I can’t wait to paint my face with make-up and do my hair to hang out at Target.

The 2020 decade we are still in the running to be able to enjoy. After endless hours of laughing at memes, watching reels of people I have no idea what intentions are, and the news saying we are all doomed, I want to start my roaring 20’s. The time I was morphing into my couch is over. I’m ready to shine.

Ready to shine into the new decade

This pandemic stuck us all in the house, living in a dystopian future, waiting for a vaccine and cure for some new virus we had no idea what was causing or how could we cure, except be away from each other. That for me it’s the worst part. Not being able to laugh with my friends in person, meet up for lunch, spending the holidays alone was borderline neurotic. Human are made to have contact with others. We needs hugs, smiles and electronic devices are not made for that.

Day after day, I lived in hope of being able to regain some control over my life, the hope of being able to walk around free. I don’t know about you, but I’m staying at home for almost a year now. At this point, I’m feral and I need to be introduced to the wild again. The other day when I went to the grocery store someone walked in my direction, and I flinch. Like the stranger was going to ask me something. That leads me to the question: are you ready to go outside and start to live your life again?

The 1920’s

After the 1918 Spanish Flu, which has a lot of similarity to the Corona Virus, also trapped people at home for almost two years, “The Roaring 20’s” got this name because of the new possibilities at the beginning of the decade and the new possibilities shining upon people.

The 1920s was a decade of a lot of progress, the 19th amendment finally passed in the State of Tennessee in August of 1920, women finally gain their rights to vote, the women were also gaining space on the job market and living a liberation unknown for them so far. It was a decade of industrial progress, people moving to big cities and suburban families being considered upper class.

It was also the decade that brought us Jazz and the Flappers. Ladies who were in short dresses and short shorts, dancing around and being free. Would we ever be able to be free like they once were? I hope so.

The Great Depression of 1929

Due to the crash market in 1929, the country went into a big recession. According to historians, because of the mass-produce of goods, consumer debts, and the stock market. It’s weird to think that now, we are living through the same difficulties because of bad virus management. You can tell me whatever, I still the virus was managed poorly due to 45th president. If the president told us, when he first got the briefing, instead of using us and our health, as a political weapon, we would have been better. Now he is finally out, we are starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. It is about time. There was also the alcohol prohibition, I believe thats the era where the speakeasies had a huge boom. Drinking underground was the way to go.

What is going to be new in the New Roaring ’20s?

I think people will still be cautious for quite some time. The maniac hand washing. The inside sneeze when you are in the middle of the store. The explanatory after coughing “I’m not sick” eyes. After we get vaccinated, the media stop focusing so much on the death rate, and start focusing on the curve flattening ( did that ever happened at any point?). We will regain some confidence to go outside, and that my friends will be the moment we are all waiting for.

Once people realize that life is getting back on track, we will be able to go out with friends, barbecue with family, go to birthday parties (no blowing candles, that over forever). I wonder if single people will be able to date strangers from an app without asking for a negative covid test before agreeing to meet? Here is my million-dollar idea: The app may have to create a QR code, like a restaurant menu.

Are you gonna be able to sit next to a stranger?

Maybe we will drink from a stranger cup like they did before? If your best friend never offered you to try some of her drink at a festival, she is not your best friend. Life Pre-Covid was hell unsanitary. Licking your fingers to open a plastic bag at the grocery store? Never again.

Are we gonna be able to sit next to other people in theaters? How long it will take for us to feel comfortable sitting next to a stranger? Is the Waffle House big depression going to happen? Cause the restaurant is known specifically for their unsanitary behavior and there is no other place to go at 3 AM when you crawling back home from a bar.

I miss seating in a restaurant, with live music playing, or some karaoke bar, where people are convinced they are on The Voice. I need to showcase my talent to people other than my husband.

A few things I plan to do when the restriction are lifted :

Travel abroad. I’ve been stuck at home this entire time thinking about traveling to Greece. I follow an account of a photographer and the country is gorgeous. The scenery is idyllic and the water is crystal blue. I’m not going to even start it with the food.

Go back to school and get a certificate in Writing and Producing. I will probably have most of the classes taken, but I’m interested in learning about the Film Industry as a business and not only as an employee. I want to be able to produce my own content and for that, I need to learn. And no, I want to actually go to school and network. I took Creative Writing online and it led me nowhere, because of poor networking.

Go to a Carnival and eat all the food at the food stands. Hotdogs, Cotton Candy, popcorn, and just people watch.

Go to a concert. Or a show. Or just watch someone play the guitar so we could all sing along while drinking.

It’s about appreciating the little things!

It’s about appreciating the little things. The New Roaring 20’s has everything to be the best decade of our lives yet if we only allow it to be. If we are not so scared to live it up, after the hardship that was the beginning of the new decade.

The vaccine is here, soon it will be for everybody, and we will be finally free, but only if we want to be free. Some people might take longer to adjust, some might be too scared to go out again. Everyone should do as they please, but in my case, I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to go outside and make some memories. Other than stay at home and watch other people having fun.

The time is up! What is your plan when you are finally able to go outside without restriction? Sing at karaoke, eat at a Buffet in Las Vegas, go to a concert? Let me know in the comments because I need ideas too!

Stay healty! Stay Sane! We almost crossing the line!

J.G.Snelly

How to get out of the rut in 5 different ways.

How my brain looks like in 2021
Photo by Ddddddarya on Unsplash

We turn on the tv, we listen to podcasts, and even on my IG feed is people yelling something about the government, the Corona Virus, the vaccine, and being a hundred percent honest, I’m exhausted.Everyone is loud and it seems like the voice in my brain is being muffled by the world’s crisis. It feels like it’s never-ending. This post is about how to get out of the rut and get things done, when the times are hard.

It’s been a few days that I feel like I’m on a rut. I sit down, look at my computer, type a few titles, and leave. It feels like my brain got me into a panicked mode, due to all that is happening with the world lately. Especially living in the United States. 

My blog is my passion project. I’m thankful for having a platform to write about what’s been bothering me, so I can help you to understand that I’m probably going through the same. What helps me to fix the situation, or at least manage it better. I’m no expert, but I believe we all have different experiences worth sharing. 

Almost every morning, I write on my planner what I intent for what my day should be. It usually includes some tasks over the phone and mostly my writing plans for the day. It’s usually one or two hours of writing and then work on some pins, schedule, and so on. But the days where the pages are empty and I need to force myself to sit down and write, this is what I do:

Watch inspiring videos. 

“You can fail at what you don’t love, so might as well do what you love”

Watch interviews or short videos of how people started their careers or how after a long time trying, they finally made it. Or a masterclass on a subject I want to learn more about. It usually helps me to get up and get stuff done. A few months ago, I watched Spike Lee on Indie Movies and now I just started Issa Rae. I need to see people who succeeded in what I want to work on, like Screenwriting. I look for classes where I know people can inspire me in terms of ‘I was different, but I made it through”  

Listen to Music or your favorite Podcast. 

Music somehow is always in the background, when I need inspiration for my stories, or just to get out of my couch, when bad days hit hard. I like to listen to the radio station, most of the time. I guess being a kid from the ’90s, I got used to switching stations and not just skip songs endlessly. 

Having someone interacting with you, about that song they are about to play is also fun. That’s probably why I like Podcasts. 

I wrote a post about Podcasts for Self- Care, where I listed the ones I like the most, like Gretchen Ruben, “Happier”, Jay Shetty “On Purpose” and Rachel Hollis Podcast. 

Here is the post if you like to know more about it 

Talk to your friends. 

Not just online. I know for us, millennials, it’s hard to make phone calls, but it’s worth it if you are checking in with a friend. It’s important to keep in touch with people that keep you grounded and inspired. People that listen to you talk about your crazy plans, and encouraging you, even though they have no idea if you will go through with it. 

I had friends in my teenage years, which we are still friends, who believed in me so much when I said I was going to move to America. They never laughed, they just supported me, the same way they still do, when I tell them I want to create a web series and have my own production company someday. 

Friends don’t laugh at your plans. They push me to keep working. Surround yourself with people that push you forward. People that make plans. Other than just sitting around waiting for life to happen. 

Be positive about your ongoing projects. 

Sometimes it seems hard because nothing is happening, or at least not happening the way you expect it to. When I have a new post on the blog, I monitor to see how many views, comments, how many pins I should keep working on. Even though I have SEO on the blog, sometimes it doesn’t happen. Not overnight. 

I read that a blog takes about two years of consistent work to pick up its pace. It all depends on the subject, the Niche, the sharing platforms, and the marketing. It’s a lot to work on your own. This is the very first time in my life, I didn’t give up on something. I want to make work.  

Creating a schedule or on what to work makes it easier. And don’t get bumped if it didn’t work at first. Keep trying. I heard people say and read in different articles about “How long are you going to be trying so you see this is not gonna work?” What I learned in life is, if it’s truly your passion you don’t give up. You adapt. You make your dreams work for you. 

I have a dream to be a screenwriter, but for now, I will keep writing what I can, to keep my dream alive, while I work for it.  

Read a passage from your favorite book 

Every time I read a book, I underline a few passages I like. The latest one I read was Untamed, by Glennon Doyle. The entire book is a blessing and she is delightful, I finished the book wanting to be friends with her and her family. One of the most iconic lines of the book is: “Now that we don’t have to be good, we can be free.” You don’t need to be good at everything, a good mother, a good wife, a good worker. You can be you, once you break free of whatever is keeping you attached to the wall. 

Another book I keep at my hand’s reach is Big Magic – Creative Living Beyond Fear, from Elizabeth Gilbert. 

This book is a constant reminder that yes, I can live my dream and you can live yours. It doesn’t matter how crazy it sounds. Have I told you about my dream of having a production company (again)? Anyway, my favorite passage of this books says “You don’t need anybody’s permission to live a creative life” 

I didn’t grow up with parents who were creative in any way. Those Boomers only taught me to get in college to get a job and be able to sustain my livelihood. Being an only child was what made me creative. 

From a very early age, I knew I wanted to write, I just didn’t know what or how. In school, I was a very good conversationalist, always telling different stories and talking everyone’s ears out. 

Take your time!

The last thing I want to say is: Take your time. You are not behind, you are not wasting your days if you are not always busy. Watch TV, laugh at those memes and when you feel ready, get up and go work on your dreams. I struggled with that for the longest time, as I keep thinking I’m already in my mid 30’s and didn’t accomplish anything. That’s why I ended up in this rut and had to find ways to cope and try to keep working, instead of feeling sorry for myself. 

Even though there are days when I mope and spend the day feeling sorry for myself. It’s all good.

Hope you had a good beginning of the new year!

Stay strong! Stay Healthy!

J.G.Snelly

The Facebook Debacle

Relationship Status – Done with Facebook!

“Are you sure?” Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

Have you ever been harassed by a relative, an aunt you never meet, or a long time neighbors, commenting on a memory from 16 years ago, on how messy you were? You are not alone.

My problems with Facebook started when it became popular and everyone signed up for it. Everyone could find you, tag you in pictures, send you a message. A long time ago, Facebook was fun, when all the people there were your crushes, your friends, and school mates. Then after a time, your aunt learned how to use it and started spreading positivity messages on your wall. Every morning. So did your super religious cousin, to comment on your posts of you and the other slouchy friend having a blast in Miami.

The Bullying Platform

retrieved from Unsplash

After a few years, Facebook became a bullying platform. In every single form, for everything you have an opinion on, there is someone to be against it and be loud about it. Much different than Twitter, which you argue with strangers, on Facebook you are arguing with your high school peeps, that never left that small headquarters of the Indiana countryside. And only read Infowars. I’m not going to even start on the conspiracy theories.

Social media became such a divided platform, that most of the people left there, are only there to pick up fights. Political, rights, race. It’s exhausting. In my country, Facebook elected a President. And I would like to know what kind of power is that, manipulating people’s minds to think a certain way. They create problems with every sentence you write and trigger you into thinking they are right, you are not.

Once upon a time, there was a fun place to check on your friends

2007

I signed up for Facebook in 2007, when all the people at the house where I was doing the summer program signed up for. It was a good way to communicate with people abroad, my friends from England were always touching base and planning to meet. There was also another way for me to keep in touch with foreign friends I made at the hostel I worked in Rio.

Back in 2010, it became popular in Brasil, I just wanted my best friend to learn how to use it and that would be fine. Suddenly I had friends of my aunt, friends of my aunt’s friends, and a bunch of unsolicited friendship requests. When they released the commenting update on stuff like my status, that’s when it went all downhill.

I like to complain, that’s my style. It is my humor style and everything that surrounds me. I got it from my momma. One given day, I was so mad, probably because of work, I went to my status and let it all out. I said, “This is not possible that life can trip me like that, I want my money back, life it’s not fair, why this, why that”. Five minutes later, I went back to Facebook and a friend of my mom I didn’t even know could see what I was writing commented back “You should be happy with your life, you are always so unhappy, please be thankful for what you have” Now I ask you, did I ever asked anyone’s opinion?

The audacity!

Facebook gave people the audacity of being nosy and give their unrequested opinion. I still think they should create a button “Did I ask for your opinion?”. They never got on board with the dislike button, but they let us have an angry red face. There is no common ground. Like an emoji giving a cold shoulder or an intense eye-rolling, when you see someone posting the love of her life for the 3rd time that year. After long debating, I removed the Facebook app from my phone. Let me tell you, that is such a relief, especially during elections.

I only check Facebook, every other day to see who is getting married, who got back home safe from church, or who got a new car, they can’t clearly afford. Facebook is also a platform to brag. Usually people from your High School or someone who you graduated college with, posting that they got an amazing job. What they don’t want to tell you, is that this amazing job is probably 70 hours a week and he won’t get to see his family, eat properly and enjoy life. Yay Capitalism! It also creates in people that are seeing this, the idea that they are not accomplishing anything.

We are all in the same boat!

Let me tell you, you are accomplishing things in life. It’s not because a person got a brand new car, a job, or graduated in something, that they are better than you. You are not measured by your productivity. Don’t let them measure your worth by what you have or the kind of job you have. Take me for example I’m a 35 years old immigrant from Brazil, who dreams to be a tv writer, and who doesn’t even have a drivers license (I drive, I just get nervous on my driving exam and failed a few times).

We are all on different paths and social media, especially Facebook, has this insane mission of messing with our minds. According to the documentary “The Social Dilemma”, they have people to study all of our likes and dislikes, what we spend more time on, what we read, what we like to eat. That’s how the platform makes money, manipulating you to think you need certain things when you don’t. How many times you thought that your phone was listening to you? Because it probably was.

The psychology behind it it’s insane. And I guarantee you people are not as nearly as happy as they say they are. One of my acquaintances kept posting how happy she is with her kids, they are the sunshine of her life, when in fact that mom is exhausted and without any brainpower to think about herself. Would it be so much better and helpful to other moms if she shared her truth, but people rather believe in the bubble they create, so it makes it easier to get by?

Back to the beginning

Back to the very beginning, I remember that I used to make entire albums, of trips, or events, with descriptions, of every 69 photos I uploaded on the website. That time when most of my updates were “Joana is…Looking forward to the weekend at the beach”. I lived in Rio, so that was common.

The only good thing to have this for all these years, its to see how much I’ve grown and changed. Thank Goddess. Can you imagine using the same vocabulary from when I was 21?Dude! No way! Way… “Joana is… going to the barbie today”. Believe me, I still have friends who talk like that and they are almost 40. Social Media is almost an adult and they are still not.

Recently I requested to participate in a few blogging for beginners group on Facebook, but I’m not feeling very confident about it. People are harsh and if I need someone to yell at me, I just call my mom. The blogging groups work in terms of ideas, but not in terms of a growing audience. That’s called Pinterest. I understand that a lot of people have business pages on Facebook, and it works well for them, it just doesn’t work for me. I also feel like Facebook’s popularity decreasing more and more each year, so instead of focusing on the platform, I rather focus on something else. It took me a long time to get away, to be sucked back in so fast.

Do you still have Facebook?

It’s funny to think how before, people were always like “What’s your Facebook?’ and now when someone asks you that, you frown, like you smell something disgusting. Because it is. It didn’t age well. As soon as people decided it was ok to give an unsolicited opinion, it was over. Since it’s my page, I can post it, as long it’s about my life and doesn’t intend to offend anyone, its fine.

This is also hard because people grew too sensitive and all we say can turn around and be offensive to someone. Of course, you can’t be homophobic, or talk about white power shit and think your opinion is the only one that matters. Also, your shitty opinion can be said it out loud to your family, who probably agree with you. I don’t have to read it on my newsfeed. Just be a decent human, is this ask for too much? I rarely unfriend people, but there is a huge line of people to be taken out of my eye sight.

With all that being said and less and less time spent on Facebook, I got more time to write and focus on my problems. Since I don’t have the app on my phone, I don’t have any recent photos in there. Soon enough it will be only my Memories and I’m ok keeping it as an old diary.

So, do you still have Facebook and use it constantly, or you got rid of it? Please let me know in the comments, so I can see if I’m on the right track keeping it as a memory box for the old days

Be safe! Stay Healthy!

J.G.Snelly