I’m keeping monthly goals, instead of yearly ones. I will tell you why.
My mom sends me a voice message this morning. She said a guy from her apartment complex was outside, at the parking lot, screaming, that he couldn’t take it anymore, and someone was trying to kill him. My mom lives in Brazil and it just makes me reflect that people from all over the world are losing their minds at this point.
All this uncertainty is almost impossible to predict what’s is going to happen next. When in March of 2020, they announced the quarantine would be about four weeks, we were all hopeful. In two months, the quarantine celebrates its first birthday. Hooray for everyone still staying at home, not seeing friends or family, who spent Birthdays celebrations, fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve at home. I don’t know about you, but I’m on my limit. I want my life back.
Setting Monthly goals.
Setting monthly goals will help me to keep my priorities focused on what I need to do now. One step at a time, not thinking about what I plan to do in August. I plan to go back to film school for the fall semester, but I rather not think about it too much. As we don’t even know if we are going to have the vaccine shot by then.
It’s a blur. We are all coming out of this experiment with a different vision of life. The nurses who worked at hospitals at this time will never be the same. People who lost a loved one, to this virus, will be broken for life. We all suffer differently. Some of us lost our jobs, our house, the only way to provide for our families. There is no way you don’t feel broken inside seeing this situation. Unless you are rich, and living a life above the other humans. Living in a 5000 Sqf house and say: “We are all in the same boat” sure doesn’t help.
I can’t see much farther ahead, so I couldn’t work on my vision board.
This year, I couldn’t do a vision board yet. I can’t see much farther ahead, even less make plans. My only plan now is to see my family. That’s all I envisioned so far. I can’t take much longer without seeing my mom, otherwise, I will be the one screaming outside my apartment complex.
Much has been said about the new presidency. I don’t want to raise any hopes. He will have a lot of work to clean the mess that the other clown left. What I hope for all of us, its to get our lives moving forward and at least be able to enjoy this summer. I can’t imagine another summer, stuck at home, frightened by the news, that if I go outside I might die, worse, I could kill someone’s grandma. That’s a lot of responsibility to carry on in life. That’s also what’s causing a huge mental break on most of us.
How many times you thought you had Corona the past year?
The news keeps reenforcing that the virus is everywhere. Don’t hang out with friends, wear the mask, wash the hands a thousand times. You can’t relax. How many times have you ever thought you had Corona the past year, after coughing? Me? Almost every day.
One day, when I was leaving Walmart, I took my mask off in the parking lot, not a big deal, but without even anything, I touched my mouth to remove a fuss of fabric that stayed on my lips. I froze for a hot second, as I remember I hadn’t clean my hands with hands sanitizer, after leaving the store. Death sentence.
For the rest of the day , I thought about it. The same happened when my ice cream fell on the table at the Ice Cream Store, I picked it up and put it right back at the cone. Is it worth dying for a 4 dollar scoop of Ice cream? No. But on a quick response, I did anyway.
This is the kind of madness we are living in for almost a year. Not the expensive ice cream, the fear of dying.
Be always on the alert. Can I breath without the fear of dying? Not yet.
We are always on alert. Don’t get sick. Don’t transmit the virus. Don’t see anyone except the ones in your household. I feel really bad right now for people who live alone. We physical contact. Not over Zoom though. I need to be able to sit with my friends at a restaurant and laugh, have a good time, but all we hear is “Wait”.
In my last post, I said it’s been hard to focus on anything right now. Breathing exercise and meditation helps a little, but I go back to alert mode as soon as I’m out of it. And to make it worse, you have the super achievers. Heck, I can’t even get a blog post written without questioning myself about it.
Super-Achievers morphing time!
Super Achievers are another class of people who are here with the full intent to drive you crazy, and with social media as a stage ready for it. I remember last year, it was the second or third week of January, someone posted on Twitter they already had read 50 books that month, so they asked “how many books have you read yet this year?” None. By the way kid, what kind of books are you reading? Reading for me is to enjoy the story, not a competition to finish the race. How in the world do you get so much done in the first 3 weeks of the year?
Between the Virus, the vaccination, the new president, the fact I’m still stuck at home, and the super achievers posting their entire working schedule online, my Ferris Wheel is broken and I’m up. Just waiting for the time that it will work again. I find happiness in small things like when I plan to write something, watch my trashy reality tv shows, or buy makeup on online sales. Small things.
Make it worth it. Every single month.
Every month will be worth it this year. For January, I’m going to focus on Issa Rae’s Masterclass and start writing a script for the ScriptPipeline contest that I want to participate in. Wish me luck! I’m not a super-achiever, but I work at my pace. Get things done are important, but again, it’s not a race.
What are your goals for the rest of January? Are you feeling somewhat off track with all this happening around us? Let me know in the comments, so I know I’m not alone feeling like this.
Stay calm and Stay healthy!