Diary of a Procrastinator

Procrastinators United ! It took me about 15 minutes to get the word Procrastinator right. Lucky me, there is an autocorrect, otherwise, I would still be trying to write it correctly. Also, because I got up from my chair many times. 

A few years ago, I learned the word procrastinator and understood the reason it takes me longer than anybody else to get things done. Not that I don’t want to do it, I feel like I work better induced by a panic mode. My best stories came out of a total neurotic mode, and psychological derogatory behavior. I postponed it, with the excuse I couldn’t do it, only to speed up and create an entire storyline in 7 hours. 

Get it done!

Not easy, but I got things done. My brain works like an hourglass, only to work the very least grains of sand to hit the bottom. I can’t possibly be the only one who works like that. 

Procrastination defined as the act of delaying or postponing whatever you have to do, and for that, I will take my place and crown as the queen.  

Thinking about that, I decided to share the Diary of a Procrastinator, based on my writing school days. Based on a real daily struggle, who fluctuates between laziness, lack of confidence, and other more interesting things to do.  

Monday

9 AM 

Dear diary,

Today is Monday and I have a lot of plans for this week. I need my coffee before I start writing my plans for the day. I have to check my phone first to see if there is anything new going on with my friends. 

10:30 AM

Dear diary,

There was not much going on with my friends, but I just saw that Ben Affleck and his girl broke up and that led me to check his career and previous girlfriends. I’m now checking his relationship with Jennifer Lopes and how he was a big part of Jenny from the Block video. They were so cute together, she even made a song for him called Dear Ben. Oh, wait wasn’t that Taylor Swift? Never mind. 

12:00 

Dear diary,

I finally sat down to write the plans for the week. Got distracted by my imaginary friends on Twitter and their accomplishments. How can’t I get any of this? Am I not working enough? Probably not. 

1:00 PM  

Dear Diary,

I called a friend this morning for advice, she just called me back. We talked about our plans to get things done, as she doesn’t get anything done either. We spent two hours on the phone talking about how our rich friend got rich. That train has departed for both of us, as we are already married. Not with each other though. Well, you know what I mean. 

3 pm 

Dear Diary,

When I sat down to write my plans, I got hungry. I decided to cook a new recipe, and for that, I would have to take a quick trip to the supermarket to get the ingredients that I don’t have. I went to the seafood aisle three times, as I was indecisive about the shrimp size. Jumbo Shrimp? King of the Sea “it could be Ariel’s father” Shrimp? 

5 Pm 

Dear Diary,

The food was delicious! I had to take a photo and post it on my social media. Now I just wait for the 3 likes I usually get. Even though I spent a good ten minutes putting filters to make it look better, my hashtag game is weak. I’m finally ready to write my plans for the week. 

6 PM 

Dear diary,

I wrote two paragraphs and I felt like a winner. It wasn’t my weekly plan yet. I got back on Twitter and made an entire statement about Ben Affleck and how his Batman was terrible. Probably the worst. People agree with me and I feel like my voice was heard. 

7:30 Pm 

Dear diary,

Right after serving dinner, I sat down to watch the news. It was all terrible and it looks like we are all going to die. That depressed me and I can’t focus. I stared at the wall in despair from all the bad news I heard about the Virus. It looks like we are never going to be able to leave our houses, besides going to the supermarket.  

10:pm. 

Dear Diary,

As I’m falling asleep, I have another great idea for a story to work on this week. I would get up and write about it, but I’m pretty sure I will remember the first thing when I wake up. Where do your thoughts go when you fall asleep?  

Tuesday 

9:00 Am 

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was a busy day, but I didn’t work on what I prompted myself to. Today is the day I have to get it all done because the deadline to send all the writing pieces are tomorrow. Today I will have to focus and I’m going to try to keep my phone away and work without distractions. I can’t remember what my idea for the story was, when I was falling asleep last night, I should have wrote it down.

11:00 Am

Dear diary,

Before I put my phone down, I checked my social media to check on the world’s latest news. I saw a notification that someone replied to my Tweet post from yesterday, saying that Ben Affleck was a great Batman and I was a hater of DC Universe. If that can’t start a war, I don’t know what else could. 

12 PM 

Dear Diary,

I wrote a few words on my planner, that contains an hourly plan for my day. It’s already 12 so I had to skip the first 6 slots. Who in the world wakes up and starts working at 6 am? No wonder everyone here is a bit neurotic. The lack of sleep messes with their brain. My cat is finally back. I was not even worried about him, because he goes around the neighborhood whenever he pleases. People feed him and he goes back home when his scheme is discovered. He is just a needy fat cat. 

2 PM

Dear Diary,

The plans to let my phone alone didn’t work. The notifications keep beeping and I got back to it like a cat following the laser. It looks like Ben Affleck got a lot of packages from Amazon, and now I’m highly invested in knowing how nice it would be to buy all you want at once, instead of pretending you are not interested, only to buy two days later. I need to go back to my planner and write my pieces. 

4 Pm

Dear diary,

I only have about 8 hours to finish my piece. Between planning, writing, and editing I’m already two days late. I don’t know If I will be able to do that. I’m just gonna watch a youtube video to get me back in the mood. 

6 PM 

Dear Diary,

I got hooked on travel videos on youtube and now I understand how planes work. Not that this is going to help me to write my piece, but at least it gave me peace of mind for my next trip. Even though I have no idea when this is going to happen, due to Corona. My husband just asked me if I finished my story. Oh damn. I only have six hours now. 

7 PM 

Dear diary, this is not even funny anymore. I waited too long. Now my idea for the story doesn’t seem to work. I’m still on act one. This is not how I imagine the story in my head. It’s not working, I’m hungry again and I want to cry. This character is boring and it is not moving the story forward. Should I replace it now? 

9 PM

Dear Diary.

Ok, there is no panic, I’m still working on my second act. As I decided to check for different word meanings, I logged into Pinterest. I don’t know how checking the best travel luggage is going to help with my story. But it’s good to take a break. As I got back to my story I had to read it again and now, as the nervous breakdown starts to show up, as I don’t think this is any good. Why are my stories never good? Am I being too critical of myself? My heart is beating fast.

10 PM 

Dear Diary,

I finished act 2 right at the moment when the cat decided to meow like there was no tomorrow. He also ate the plant and jumped into my keyboard, like the mean creature he is. If I fail this assignment, I will blame him. 

11 PM 

Dear Diary,

I wish I could get some help. I feel like I’m having a heart attack, I can’t fail this class. My story is all over the place and I only have a few minutes to submit it. It’s not my fault that I have a life and a cat. Wait a minute. The cat is playing with the internet wires on the floor.

11:30 PM

Dear diary,

The cat ate the cable of the internet and my vision went black for a few seconds. I needed a minute to remove the cat from that area, put him in the room, and fixed the damage. The internet is now back on. I still need to edit my work. 

11:45 PM

Dear diary,

My writing piece is gone. The program shut itself and now I can’t find it anywhere. That’s it. I’m gonna fail. I can’t even think now. 

11:55 PM

Dear diary,

I found the document and edited it the way I could. The cat is meowing so loud, it looks like he is gonna break the barrier sounds. 

11:58 PM

Dear diary,

I finally submitted my story. I feel so accomplished! Next time, I will work on my pieces with more time, so I can breathe! The cat is out and now he hates me. He just dropped the plant vase from the window.

Wednesday :

9 AM

Dear Diary, I just received an email from my professor. He said I sent him my resume, instead of my writing piece. He said he would love to hire me, but that’s not the case now. 

The end!

This is a fiction piece of how my everyday life at school while undergoing Creative Writing classes would play out. Most of it its true, except for the cat.

Thanks for reading!

Let me know in the comments if you are a procrastinator too and what makes you work faster!

J.G.Snelly