Storytelling Archives - Live Out Loud Too

The Travel Channel Era

The New Era is here.

Here I’m sitting at my desk again, trying to be productive. I got up a few times, I made a few phone calls, I received a few phone calls. Now is almost 2pm and I’m yet to get something done. The thoughts in my brain a 100 miles per hour, I have a lot to think about and to decide what to do first. Are you like that too?

Should I start editing my San Francisco trip video? Should I take classes on how to be a better filmmaker and editor, instead of actually doing it? Maybe I’m going for a walk. Maybe I will meditate. Who am I kidding? The bullet train of thoughts can’t be controlled today.

One of the many Thumbnails I worked for youtube San Francisco-Chinatown video. Let me know in the comments what do you think!

It always seems like I want to do a lot, but at the same time I can’t do enough. Nothing its ever good enough. I love writing, but its a huge commitment and I’m a little bit taken aback by writing stories in English. I’m very self conscious about it. I loved writing school and I’m great writing scripts instead of long narratives. I was ready for it, but then the pandemic happened, and washed all my hopes and reams away. Did that happed with you?

When I graduated in September of 2019 I was ready to make things happen. Somehow the Pandemic took all my aspirations away. First, because I didn’t know if there were going to be an end to that, if we were going to live the rest of our lives subjected to the virus and how it was managed, and second I keep in the back of my mind that we are going to have another pandemic soon, maybe not just yet, but in a few years something is coming and its going to be another massive disruption. Where the rich gets richer and the poor people either die, or surrender to the rich.

The circle of things I enjoy most in life.

2016 Circle of Joy. It says in Portuguese: Photography, Writing, drawing, traveling and culinary.

A few years ago, I made a circle of things I love doing and it could give me money. Writing and photography. Right after came traveling and food. Add videography on the list and you will have my now travel channel. I’m finally in my Travel Channel Era. Took my 6 years to get it done. I never gave up entertaining the idea of one day, have youtube channel that would allow me to gather everything I love in one platform. You can do it too! You might not have the funds, but you have a creative mind and hopefully a cellphone, a pen and paper.

Quitting is not an option.

I cannot afford to quit my job yet, but I’m working hard to make the channel happen. Its exhausting, I’m not going to flourish it. And I do a round of stand up applause for people who does all that and yet manage to create new things. Being able to be creative and not only copy content on social media is intense and brave. I would love tobe able to manage my own content the entire time. Just quit and work with what I enjoy. But we all have bills and my dad’s or husbands last name doesnt make my life profitable. Girl gotta work!

We all aspire to do something that is going to make us happy. You can stay at your house all day long playing games and eating trash food, while killing dragons, if that makes you happy, go for it. If you dream travelling the world, start with small trips to near by towns. If you dream about being a chef, be the best chef you can be. Learn everything, about everything. Stop self sabotaging yourself, like I’ve been doing for the past 20 years. Start with a small step today. Be grateful for today.

Be grateful for today.

In 2017 I lost a very dear friend of mine. A childhood and teenage years friend. Always believed in me, when nobody else would. The last time I talked to her, she told me “I would give everything to have the same problems you guys are having.’ What she meant was we complain about a lot of stuff, while people are out there fighting to have some health issues and have a normal life. That was ingrained to my brain and I think about it almost everyday.

Misery loves company. Its much easier for you to get compassion if you are super down, than when things go right. People are fed on other people’s chaotic energy. That’s why what I try with this blog its to keep it positive. If I can live in America and thrive, you can do it from anywhere too. Its just one day after the other. It might take years, but please dont give up. You can always redirect your dreams and goals, I’ve done it plenty of times, but giving up its not an option.

Live Out Loud too is now a small business.

I wrote all that to say that Live Out Loud Too is now made into a company. A small media company and this blog is what started it all. I’m writing my business plans and moving forward with my goals. Again, it took me 7 years to get it done.

Lack of grip, immigration statuses, self sabotage, pandemic, you name it. Welcome to the new era. The Travel Channel era.

Thank you my 3 readers for all the support. You know who you are and if I ever get any money with thes travel channel, I take you on a spin around a rented boat in Miami. Thank you for sticking by.

I truly appreciate you.

Bagels, Donuts & Pizza- Our 72 hours in NYC

January 2023- New York City

Bagels, Donuts & Pizza- Our 72 hours in NYC.

After 4 hours flight we arrived. We took a shuttle bus from the airport to the train, to the train to the hotel. As soon as I sat down, I got situated where I landed. This girl seating next to me is talking on the phone with a friend, with a very thick accent and she sounds like she is about to beat somebody.

Her voice was screeching and she was saying that her dumb friend had a baby with this loser and now she is trapped, suffering the consequences. I really wish she was on a speaker so I could heard both sides of the conversation. The girl on the phone was getting more and more aggravated, cussing like she had no mother. I had two realizations at that moment : I had definitely became the aunt and two we had just landed in New York City.

The city is the definition of chaos. The sound, the pollution, the smell and even the crazies make the city what it is. Concrete jungle the dreams are made of. Would I live there? Absolutely yes. For someone who grew up in Rio, New york feels like home. Expensive and abusive with their people. But so is Denver. At this point I dont think there is a cheap place to live anywhere in the planet. Unless you want to live in places like Oklahoma and Alabama, but in those places you also dont make any money. So might as well live in the center of the world.

“I dont want to live in a palace in KoKomo Indiana, I want to live in Manhattan”

I saw a TikTok recently about how people barf on New York apartment prices and they usually state that for that amount of price they could be living in a mansion in Kokomo, Indiana. The person proceeded and I agree. I dont want to live in a mansion in Indiana, I want to live in a trendy place in New York City. Having to drive 45 minutes to the nearest Walmart its not my thing.

New York City is loud.

So loud I could hear the noises from the 30th floor in my hotel room. People cross the street carelessly, walk without stopping, bikers pass by you like a flash of light. According to a local friend, they know if you live in the city or not by the way you cross the street. Or by the way you ignore people offering you touristic stuff on Times Square. Don’t get scammed into taking pictures with characters. Elmo tend to charge a lot.

Times Square is also so bright.

Josh said that if feels like Las Vegas and Chicago had a baby, and New york is their baby. It was his first time visiting and he loved it. The first thing we did when we dropped out bags on the hotel was walk around to find some place to eat. We found a pizza joint a few blocks from us and its cheaper than I expected. At night, we walked to Times Square to see the billboards and the stores, we walked so much to the point I unexpectedly found the McGee Pub, on 52 Street.

McGee was the pub who inspired the bar on How I met your Mother, where Barney and the gang hang out on every episode of the show. As soon as you walk, it makes you feel like you are in the show. Pictures of the cast on the wall, from the show, newspapers with articles about it and the decoration. Its definitely a place to visit, even if you didn’t watch the show.

Everything in the bar feels familiar and if you did watch the show, you will be quoting Barney and Ted’s catchphrases for the time you are there. The menu has dishes referring to episodes/situations from the show and drink menu are also inspired on it. I drank the Robin Sparkles, which is similar to a cosmopolitan. The menu also had Duck tie and the Pinapple incident. Josh even bought a Legen-Dary shirt as a souvenir to bring home. We took some pictures outside and after so much walking, got back to the hotel. I slept for 12 hours.

Day 02

Central Park, Friends Building, Soho, K-town.

The coolest thing about getting lost in Central Park, is because it always makes you feel like you are in a movie scene. From Made in Manhattan (2003) to Bride Wars (2009), 13 going on 30 (2004) and Down to you (2000), everything makes you feel like you are a character from a movie.

Carriages, musicians playing the Saxphone, people taking photos and locals exercising. Normal life happening. We walked about 20 minutes and we only got to see ⅓ of what the entire area of Central Park really is. We jumped on the train to Greewhich Village to see the Friends building, a very popular place to take photos. Instead of the show’s Central Perk, they have a small bistro restaurant called Little Ow, that it was being remodeled at that moment..

Another train, another neighborhood.

Joe and the juice and their tasteless vegan shake. I tried to be healthy among all the pizza I was eating and I ended up paying a high price for disappointment. Should have just stick to the pizza. The only sweetness from that vegan shake was when I accidentally found pieced of dates. Then I was sad again.

Josh liked his, whic was a strawberry REGULAR shake. We walked around SoHo, visited some stores and head back to the hotel. At night we went to meet our friend Six and Kan, to have hot chocolate at Bryant Park. We walked some more, kept moving to K-town, the Korean neighborhood, with Food Halls and korean restaurants.

New York has everything in a walking distance, and I can prove it. We had a great time with our friends and I wish we could stay, so we could have our own sitcom show. Can you imagine? One Brazilian, one Brazilian/Chinese, a Japanese and a guy from Indiana. Living in New York. That would be a show I would write and watch it.

Day 03

Brooklyn Bridge and Dumbo.

The last part of the map to conquer. If you are going to New York, get yourself a good pair of shoes, because you are going to walk miles without even notice. On the last morning in the city, we decided to cross the Brooklyn Bridge. Yes, in January, on a super windy day. The Manhattan skyline from the bridge is amazing. I walked by fast because I hate heights. So even thought it was beautiful to see, I was just rushing throught because it sure freaks me out.

Once we were out of the bridge, we were confused which way was Dumbo.

Left. After the overpass, take a left. Josh loved Brooklyn and so did I. So the conversation started with “do you want to move here?” the real question was “do you think we can afford to live here?” I would love to, but I honestly don’t think we can afford it. At least not yet. Once the youtube channel takes off and we have some passive income (and our regular jobs) we can definitely do it.

We walked to Times Rooftop, located in Dumbo, where there is a food hall, with a lot different options of international food, drinks and of course a rooftop, great for instagram pictures. I was not even hungry, but I decided to have some doughnuts, just for the heck of it. I got hibiscus and Josh got the chocolate one.

surprise on how nice everyone was with us. Like you have their feeling that everyone in New York is just rude all the time, but we got the best of it. I honestly rather have the rudeness of New York than the fakeness of LA.

To complete our day in Brooklyn, we kept walking and I’m pretty sure I saw Dan Humphrey apartment, from Gossip Girl. Like I said, if you are a big movie fan, you will find yourself feeling familiar with a lot of places in New York.

I’m entertaining the idea of eventually move there at some point. I just need the youtube channel to get monetized. Which I still have a long way to go. Slowly, but surely.

If you like travel content, please subscribe and watch a few videos.

Merry Crisis and a happy new Fear!

Sometimes I looks around and I’m thankful for all I have. Its not the material stuff, it is a story of my achievements. On the wall, on my table, in the small memorabilia I acquired throughout the years. It all takes back to a time when I arrived in this country and all I had was my laptop, a few pieces of clothes and an air mattress.

This year it was the 10th anniversary of me arriving in the USA.

There was a long way and don’t take nothing for granted. My fridge full of food, gas in the car, a warm house and a loving husband. The small things in life should be appreciated. All the small victories should have never been taken for granted. America has changed me a lot.

As I look around the room, the small SheShad that I build, that I like to call my office/ studio, I can see all the progress I made in those years of sweat and tears. I might not have a higher CEO position in a company, I might not have bought a property, I don’t even have a bicycle, but you know what I have? Hope. Joy. Again, pride in my small victories.

Immigrants are ingrained with the moral and social responsibility of succeeding. So we can show our people, who stayed back home, we left for good a reason. We left for a better life, comfort and some more money. That makes them think we are rich. Because we are in America and have the newest IPhones, we are loaded with money.

The better life not always means more money.

Eventually it just means you have the safety you didn’t have in your own country, or that you feel safer to be who you are without being killed. By religion, by society standarts among other things. What people don’t see is, we are probably broken inside, and filled with guilt of leaving everything behind to start over. And most of the times, there are families who stayed back home, are guilt-tripping us into some madness, some psychological warfare. So we find our family members that we choose to put in our lives. Your support system.

We bond over our failures

Your support system are usually other people that has the same struggles as you. Mine are immigrants( and poc, who are indeed immigrants too). All my friends were bonkered (my word of choice for “screwed”) in a different way arriving in this country. We bond over our failures and our achievements. We sit at the bar and we cry because sometimes life sucks.

I look around in my office, full of stuff, I’m taken back to how much I had to get rid off, in order to accomplish everything that hangs on the wall. When my confidence is nowhere to be found, I stay quiet in my chair, look at my pictures, and share some gratitude. I manifest to the universe all the cool thinks that are still to come, how strong I was to get where I’m today and I ask you to do the same.

New year, new me. Not really.

Next week, we enter a new year, and with that all those promises to get better, the lists, the goals comes at you all at once. Keep it simple, I suggest. I’ve been doing it the past couple of years, with just a few items on the list. Going to Therapy is the one I keep dragging to another year. Since I don’t have insurance, the therapy podcasts are doing the dirty job. The second one is to write the script. I have it on a notebook, I wrote a little while I was at work, bored.So now I need to put it on Final Draft to accomplish the goal.

Again, keep it simple.

Want to eat healthier? Start by eating more fruits. Want to have a better and mindful attitude? Take long walks. Do something everyday that makes you happy. That’s been working for me. But there are also days when it doesn’t. So I give myself time and wait for the day to be over. I don’t write, edit, cook, or do anything. I just allowed myself to be away.

I let my mind wander.

My goal’s list are not up for next year yet. The past years the goals had been to intense, so 2023 I’m taking easier, way easier. Goals like citizenship, drivers license, create a youtube channel ( and actually post content) took a big part on my life during the previous years.

2023 I want to take even easier and maintain low expectations. Of course I want a lot, I’m just too scared to write it down.

Have you made your goals for next year yet? Let me know in the comments! Do you dream big, or do you keep on the down low like me? I’m going to work on mine resolutions now and post it here at the beginning of the year.

See you next week!

Stay healthy, Stay safe!

JS XXXX

The one about the Third Coast – Chicago

The Vlog about Chicago

Every time I visit Chicago, I want to move back. As I’m filled with the nostalgia of a great time in my life, the city also brings the best in me. When I’m there, I relieve that moments of risk taking, fearless empowerment and make it happen kind of feeling. Do you have a place like that in your life too? I have two. Rio de Janeiro and Chicago. On this post, I’m going to talk about Chicago, we leave Rio for another time.

Last September, we planned a trip to Chicago to celebrate my 10th anniversary in America. If you are new to this blog, Chicago is the place I moved to, after almost two years of agony of living in Sao Paulo. My life is full of up and downs and Sao Paulo was the lowest place I’ve been in my life. Moving back on to. Chicago.

The Windy City, the third coast, the less crowded New York, the much nicer people.

The pilot announced that we would be landing in the next ten minutes. I look at the window, and we were in the middle of the clouds. Suddenly, I felt the plane flew back up.Lord have mercy. The pilots voice came back on to let us know that they needed more time to land, because Midway had other planes to land before us.I remained calm.

I’ve been listening to a podcast called “fear of flying” where a former pilot explain to us how safe is to fly and I guess its working. I hate flying.I don’t like to be up in the air, don’t like to trust my life on someone that might be overworked (33 thousand ft above), and don’t understand how planes work. We landed ten minutes after being hanging around in the clouds.

Chicago was rainy and cloudy.

It was the first time I visited the city since we left, in November of 2019, to Austin. And boy, the Chicago changed a lot. Not the weather, that’s a given. But the city looks like it was trashed. I love Chicago and I would never talk bad about my city. I read a lot about what was going on in the city during the pandemic and also through friends we have there. The city is still vibrant, people are still outside, but I think it’s going to take years to reconstruct the damage of the Corona Virus led the city to.

I love Chicago and I would never talk bad about my city.

After putting our stuff in the hotel, we took the bus to meet our friend Brittney, in a very nice restaurant in Gold Coast. How much I missed my friend!! I was immediately put in a “I want to move back here” mode. I miss my friends, I miss the chaotic energy the city has and how I could move around without relying on a car. We bought a 3 days CTA pass, and we were all over the place. I love big cities, and even though I really like Denver, this is not a big city.

Walking around at the Magnificent Mile, I was surprised by how many stores are closed now, from the time I was living there. Big stores on what is supposed to be a mile of luxury and entertainment are gone. Uniq-lo, Columbia, The Italian food place on the corner, all gone within two years.

Old Italian Village Restaurant

We went to eat in a place close to the hotel at night called “Italian Village”- The oldest Italian restaurant in town. The clientele surely reflects that. And the music, and the Ambience. The poor waiter, who looked like she had drinks a witch’s potion to remain young. Made my creative mind to image her being as old as the restaurant is, but every day before her shift starts, she drinks from a potion of youthness, like a Howard’s moving castle on the opposite way.

Next morning I was ready to run the town.

We walked around Michigan Avenue and hit Eataly, the place I used to work and my very last waitressing job. As soon as I walked into the building I realized why I gave up being a waitress. The anxiety that took over my body only from getting on that escalator was unreal.

The store was having a Sale-tember and we bought some cookies, coffee, chocolate to have breakfast next morning. When we travel we try to have at least one meal at the room, so we save money for a bigger meal later on. Thats how can we afford to travel. We also share meals.

I got Bites on my heart. ❤️

At the end of the first day we went to our favorite restaurant to see another friend, who lives close by. We got at BITES a bit early and we were received like we always were.

The staff recognized us, treated so well and the owner came by the table and she remember we moved to Austin, she asked if we were still living there. We told her we moved to Colorado. She asked if we were moving back. I said I wanted to. I always want to. I never wanted to leave in the first place. The manager sent us some food and we had a great time as always.

They let me take the little flamingo as a souvenir

What I miss most about Chicago is the community sense. People help each other. They talk to each other, on the train. Exchange a few words or a quick smile. That always made a difference especially when I first arrived there in 2012. I never felt alone. We bond over the crazy people on the red line. If you know, you know.

Last day was the day to film some footage for the channel and walk around The Bean, at the Millenium park. Also have lunch in Chinatown. The city has the best Dim Sum ever. I couldn’t believe how easy was to jump on the train, have lunch and come back to downtown Chicago.

The city is a melting pot of cultures. It’s like New York, but better. Even though it has a lot of problems and concerns about safety, and I would still visit anytime I get a chance to.

What I tell everyone is if you are looking for fun and different types of cuisine and different types of people, go to Chicago. Go get a Chicago Italian beef, or a deep dish pizza, Go get a donut at Stan’s donuts. Go get some of the latino vibe at the Pilsen neighborhood. Go to Andersonville for a Scandinavian taste at Svea.

How much I miss the city vibe.

Last remarks of what happened before I go:

We jumped into the orange line in the Midway airport, an elderly man started talking to us, engaging about the mac and cheese he would have to buy. He was worried that he would forget and asked us to keep remind him. He asked me if I like to cook and I said yes, but not mac and cheese.

Another time on the train, a man was with his headphones, was dancing for the hispanic lady on her seat. He danced around, hugged and humped the guy who was standing before he proceed to leave the train. None of this humans knew the dancer.

As you can see, I shared a few videos of what I’m working in our youtube channel TRVLS & COMIDA . If you are kind to subscribe, I will be very thankful for it. I’m going to keep working to improve it.

See you next week, possibly.

JS XXX

Miss Duolingo – Est. 2001

On the passenger seat of a moving car, I stared out of the window. I see cars passing, right in front of my eyes and I think to myself how lucky I’m. I think that in my native language. I turn around and tell my husband how I’m feeling, in his native language. I’m impressed on how fast my brain switch from Brazilian Portuguese, my native language, to his American english.

Our biggest difference brought us together. For him, english is a given, for me, years and years of studying, learning, mimicking the sounds, making phrases like a two year old.

I was not raised bilingual.

I forced myself into learning and that only started at the age of 16.

One of my memories was the first week of English classes, when the teacher would make us simple questions, and I was thrilled to answer it. I remember the first level book, with lessons like “do, did, don’t and didn’t”. Something that sounds so simple for a native speaker, for us took an entire month of putting words together, trying to make sense.

I had some vocabulary, because I used to translate the song’s lyrics with a dictionary. A few different times when the teen magazines had the translation of the song, I used to study the words.

Being bilingual requires a lot of brain power.

Being bilingual requires a lot of brain power, as I don’t translate words or phrases. I switch, like a light switch. On and off. I think in both languages, but not at the same time. And I cant understand it at the same time either. Its either one or another.

For example: if I’m watching a Brazilian show on tv and my husband asks me something in English, I can only understand one at a time. I stop for a millisecond and choose which one I will focus on.

When he asks me to do a simultaneous translation of the novella I’m watching, it feels like my brain is scratching a rock agains wood to make fire.

Like the Titanic engine, right before it hits the Iceberg.

The brain of a bilingual works like the Titanic engine, right before it hits the iceberg. Everyday. I remember the first time I was in the States, in 2006, during a summer work abroad program.I was on a J1 visa, and how fantastic it was being immersed in another language was and also very confusing.

At that time, the placement for the work abroad program was in North Carolina, and the southern accent clearly didn’t help. The first few days I was getting by as I could.

There were plenty of times, at Mc’Donalds when the attended asked me “for here or to go?” and all I could catch on was “to go”. So many times I ended up with my food in a paper to go bag, while my coworkers had their food spread on a tray.

“Everything you own, in a box to the left”

It also happened with songs. I remember being on the resort’s van, going to Asheville, for a night out with my coworkers, and listening to Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable”, I was emotional because I thought the song was so beautiful and romantic, when in fact she was kicking the guy out of the house, in the nicest melody.

It’s not easy on us, and there is plenty of people out there, who can’t say another damn word, in a different language, that will pretend to not understand you.

Or try to make you look like an idiot for even trying. I’ve been there way too many times. Where people laughed at me because I was trying to say something, and it come out as I though in my brain.

Or use the same words, that mean something different, in the other language. I used to say “we live at a condominium” because in Portuguese Condominium means “apartment complex”. Here its apartment complex. Or USB driver, that in portugues it’s called a “pen drive”.

Americans makes no effort to at least minimize the struggle for someone speaking in a second language. You either learn how to talk like them, or you will be ostracized. Thanks Georgia. Not too long ago, I decided not to fit in on this terms.

Let me tell you : Don’t you ever be embarrassed by your accent. This is your identity, is your motherland, your roots. Specially, if you started learning later in life, like me.

Don’t worry about how you are going to sound, just put the words together and be confident, it will come naturally to you after a time. Watch TV, read books, listen to music.

Congratulation on being Bilingual!

My words for you are always congratulations for making an effort of being bilingual. There are people that appreciate you trying to speak their language, while going through the hard burdens of understanding how everything else works. That’s the reason I have this blog, to encourage other like me, who feels like on outcast in this country, to shine through the cracks. We need each others support.

We belong here. Not matter what anyone else yells at us, because we don’t look like them ,or don’t sound like them.

Be brave, Be bold!

XXX