Captain Sandy for President

First of all : Justice for Kiko!

 We are just a few days away from the election and the new season of Below Deck, the original one. I’m gonna go straight to the point and say that Captain Sandy should run for president. In the next few paragraphs, I will campaign for her and explain why she is a great candidate.  

One random Saturday morning, I woke up with nothing to watch on Netflix, because let’s be honest, the streaming app is letting many of down lately. As I had my coffee, I landed on Bravo, where they were having a Below Deck Med marathon.

I believe the last episode of the season would be the following Tuesday. While looking at my phone, without paying attention, I heard someone on TV clashing the pots and threatening to leave. That was Chef Tom, mad as hell, because the food he ordered right before the charter, was frozen. 

I let go of my phone and called it a day to keep watching the marathon and immediately send a text to my friend and also Chef, Demeatrie. I told her what was happening, as we both worked in the hospitality industry for years, we both needed to watch together so we could discuss on our way to work.

It didn’t take long for us to search for past seasons and one thing all the seasons have in common is the Yacht chef, Hannah, Malia, and Captain Sandy. Everything that happens on that show revolves around them. 

Captain Sandy is badass and has zero tolerance for people who can’t do their job. Another reason why should be the next President is that she is a woman, managing all those nutcases, guests, and crew while parking the boat on a dock like a ballerina. I’m not a feminist, but I do think we should have equal opportunities and don’t have to fight so damn hard for a higher hierarchy position in any industry. Captain earned her position and she fights to keep it. 

I worked in the luxury segment before and whoever is managing you, has to have a full understanding of the pressure it is. I can see why Hannah was hyperventilating and having anxiety crises. It’s easy to freak out when day after day you are trapped in a boat with millionaires who demands your body and soul because they are paying for a luxury charter. They forget we are not robots.

When the pressure doesn’t fall on the supervisor, it falls on the chef. And a few chefs throughout the seasons made the work environment hectic. Another reason Captain Sandy should be President: She is in a reality show and she fires people. 

Captain Sandy X Chef Milla (Season 4) 

In season 4, we were excited to have a female Chef, she was from Russia and had gone to Le Cordon Bleu, one of the most “refined culinary schools in the world”. Julia Child attend the same school, so Milla should be capable. I don’t know what happened, but when she decided to serve nachos to the charter guest, I lost it. I serve nachos to my husband when I don’t want to cook, so I trick him into eating whatever scraps I can put together.

Chef Milla did the same, but for guests who were paying tons of money expecting a refined cuisine. The episodes continue, so does her nonsense cooking. Captain Sandy walks into the kitchen and Milla is putting together tacos, from a box, that you get at Walmart for 2.50. She asks if it’s dinner for the crew, Milla says no, it’s for the guests. She serves it, they liked it, I think rich people enjoy eating peasant’s food every once in a while. 

The next day Milla can’t do pancakes, from scratch or the box. Girl, it’s just mixed with water, c’mon! At this point in watching, I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed because I work with food and I respect it, even if it’s just pancakes. At night, she reheats the steak that was about to be served in a microwave. I repeat – on a microwave- to serve to the guests.

Captain Sandy never dropping the ball, ask Milla to please cook the food that it was on her portfolio. She didn’t. The next day she got fired. 

Captain Sandy X KiKo ( Season 5)

First, let me say – justice for Kiko! When I first heard him talking, I immediately knew he was from Brazil. Our accent is easily recognizable for each other. We just know. I was happy to see a Brazilian chef, showing a bit of our culture and our habits on tv. When people ask me if I feel any type of representation while living in America, I say yes. Have you seen the Bird from the movie “Rio”? That’s all the representation I could get these days. Loud, chaotic, and scared, because we are all like that. We are not. 

Kiko was a sweetheart, very focused on his food, and respectful of his colleagues. That was not enough to keep him in the boat. He kept trying and trying and when he couldn’t do it anymore, Hannah gave him the horrible suggestion of making fried food, for the Las Vegas night. Kiko has never been to Vegas and I don’t think Hannah has been either. It was all fried food, and he got fired on the spot. 

A tip from 14 years of experience in the hospitality industry: be careful with who you bond with, and be careful with what they tell you to do. Follow your instincts. 

Captain Sandy fired him too, saying that he needed to learn organizational skills, plating, and everything else. Kiko cried all night. He cleaned the kitchen, went to his bunk bed, and cried himself to sleep. When he left, Hannah lost it.

Captain Sandy X Hannah (Season 5)

Hannah is from Australia and her way of working reminded me of when I worked in Australia in 2009. It’s a very passive-aggressive relationship with whoever is your subordinates. I remember having a huge discussion with one of my supervisors in Australia, when on the next day she came to me, as nothing happened and said she usually does that to her employees, so they can respect her as a boss.  

After Kiko left, it’s a downward spiral for Hannah, because she felt guilty for him being fired. Well, lady, that was technically your fault. One of the nights, she had an anxiety attack and asked for her Valium. To Malia. Malia is a Bosun, which right under Captain Sandy in the hierarchy. So a few days after a discussion about switching rooms to be with her boyfriend, Malia took a photo and sent it to Captain Sandy. A picture of her Valium and a weed pen. CBD pen, according to her. 

This type of medication is not allowed in the boat, unless Hannah had a prescription for her stuff, she would have to be terminated. Thanks, Malia. Hannah took her microphone off and walked outside, followed by Captain Sandy, who was trying to explain her reasons to let her go. To the point, Captain, tired of trying said “F* off” and walked away.  

All the crew got surprised by Hannah leaving, except Malia. Again, keep your friends close and your enemies closer

Captain Sandy X Tom (Season 5)

On the very last charters of the season, Chef Tom, Malia’s boyfriend joined the crew as a Chef. He went to visit his girlfriend and got trapped by Captain Sandy. As the time passed, Chef Tom, who is highly trained and competent, started to getting frustrated, especially with the food provisions given between the charters. When he received the fish only a few hours before the guests arrived and the fish was frozen, he lost it. He unintentionally yelled at Captain Sandy, and no one yells at her. Not even the Chef. If they had more than one or two charter at that season, he would sure get fired too.

The Election is no Joke

With all the joking aside, this week is Election week and one of the most important elections of all times. There is a lot at stake and you should vote conscience. I don’t vote yet, neither do I like any of the candidates. They are both terrible and I’m scared as hell for my future and the future of this country. 

In the next election, hopefully, as a citizen, I will be voting for Captain Sandy. Because she showed she is more than capable to run us all. It’s about time for us to have a female president!

Please let me know who would you like to see as your President next Tuesday! Don’t worry, I don’t like  Trump either.

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