Hear me out.
I’m 35 years old immigrant and I’m nowhere near to be successful. I have a blog that I commit to writing twice a week, so I can have a sense of progress in my life. I write about the things I like and hope people can enjoy the content. When Covid happened last March, I got stuck, like most of us. So I’m taking my time. Watching a lot of trash tv and questioning my life choices when I log in to websites like LinkedIn. The most “coach-like” social platform that exists.
There is no way you log in on LinkedIn that you feel good about your life achievements. One time when I was updating my page, I felt broken. All these CEO’s are telling you what you are doing wrong, and how behind you already is. That was the first social media to get the boot from me.
During the past couple of years, I have been observing a new wave of successful people’s coaches telling you how hard you should work, in what you should work how early you have to wake up to be successful. What they never tell you is: is all that necessary? Will ever achieve this success? It feels like you are a hamster on the wheel, constantly spinning and going nowhere. Hear me out, most of us live this life too. Some are better than others in hiding.
The Coach Culture
Coach Culture is a ferocious way to tell you everything you are doing in life, you are doing it wrong, you should do it their way. It’s also related to what I have been experiencing while living here in America. We watch all these reality tv shows, with these rich stars while we are questioning ourselves why can we have the same? Am I not good enough? Will I ever be good enough? Probably not. What these people on tv are not telling you, is that it was probably hard for them too. Or not.
Maybe they were born into a rich family and are trust-fund kids, maybe they invested the little money they had and got lucky. Maybe they married rich. People will show off, but they won’t tell you the whole story. They show you what they want you to see while making you feel horrible about your life.
I read a lot of self-help books. I’m crazy about it and it does what it is supposed to do, they help and encourage. It’s a little different than what the team leader coaches do, the ones that are going to make you feel bad because you didn’t get rich or successful before your 30’s.
Where this idea that I supposed to be working while someone has fun comes from? Or Wake up early at dawn and conquer the day while everyone else is sleeping? The coach makes you feel like a loser, to sell you his book about being successful. Buy their book, watch the seminar, buy the seminar with an extra hour for more personal tips, pay more to be able to rewatch it. Tell us about your story. Once again, we are trapped in the wheel going nowhere.
Social media and the new batch of coaches
Social media is a cauldron of instant famous people for no reason. It’s a niche for the make-believe culture, they sell you an idea, you feel bad about yourself and you buy into it. It works like with politics too, but this is a discussion for another post. I’m from a different generation, as I grew up without being attached to a phone and waiting for strangers’ validation. I’m beyond thankful that I was able to live for the longest time without this slot machine programmed mind games.
I was about 21 when this social media madness started. When I created my Facebook profile in 2006, all we could do to annoy people were poking them, not replying to angry posts against their political views. Now the system can hear you through your phone and immediately try to sell you stuff. As time passed, a new generation of motivational speakers gain force and we, the losers, felt more behind than ever.
I’m here to tell you, it’s ok to be random. It’s ok not to have any talents and live your life with a different hobby every week. Work, paid your bills, invest if you can on traveling, and your happiness. All that job titles and positions are not gonna mean anything when you are sitting in a chair with old pals or grandchildren trying to tell them your stories. Don’t let these people tell you how you should live your life or what is a success for them. Don’t get suck in by social media instant success people either.
In the old days…
In all honesty, life was way more fun when there were no social media people to compare to. The only people that we were compared to were the engineer cousin or a neighbor that became a doctor. Now I have millions of people, being beautiful, successful, funny, traveling the world, eating in fantastic restaurants and I’m here, writing about being an immigrant failure and telling people that this ok. You can still live out loud too. Please, don’t judge me for trying to do the best I can, within my possibilities. Let me have joy in what I like working with.
A different situation I encountered while trying to improve my blog is the number of other bloggers trying to help me out by selling guides on how to make money. Im thankful, but the amount of Pinterest pins I saved on how to make thousands a month by blogging is out of charts. Everything is somehow, turned into a business. The coaches are doing a great job of turning your hobbies into profit. That’s why I don’t think people are happy anymore, everyone is depressed because they have to find a way to be profitable and the easiest way is by branding yourself online. When it doesn’t work the way it should, it’s your fault, and that how you get depressed.
Too much information, that’s a fact.